my gut hates me now
my gut hates me now
been feeling so cruddy lately. i think it is time to change my diet and eat healthier π
im so exhausted todays gonna suck i already know it
i wish i could sleep normally ππππππ
dream where jaebeom protected me from a sexual predator and i knew in my dream that he could take him. dunno why these are my dreams but okay??
jackson wang u r not allowed to die bc what do u mean MY mom moved to china bc of YOUR death ?!
and like no one but lea and ab were trying to be there for me, all bc the freak paid them off and was one of the richest men in the world, i will Not be falling back asleep anytime soon
i dont know why these are my nightmares. they happen so often, and i hate waking up in tears
nightmares about being sexually assaulted and then stalked and made to suffer all bc i wouldnt get with a gross ugly man who thought he could buy me π«Άπ»π«Άπ»π«Άπ»π«Άπ»π«Άπ»
want to cry at work but i Will Not. I Refuse.
but also dating apps terrify me theyre so draining
i yearn to be in a relationship, my dreams lately have been messing me up π
need sugar and d20 to feel better π«₯π«₯π«₯
almost cried in my car on the way home and while at work, woohoo!!!
5 minute interview, she either hated me immediately or was desperate enough to hire anyone
had a dream i got the job and it felt so realistic, manifesting this π§ββοΈ
i keep waking up later and later because i have had such a hard time staying asleep. what happened to those really good few weeks when i first got here π
like i ALWAYS know im gonna throw up a shit ton, not sleep right bc my heart rate will go insane, be sweaty/clammy for hours, fall back asleep for an hour or two and the gagging/throwing up continues every hour on the dot
im a big girl so why do i think its a good idea to drink and smoke on an empty stomach
i feel so disgusting i hate when i get like this
had such an interesting dream that i dont want to forget for some reason. like it could be a movie if i wanted
i helped jinyoung find his backbone and everything ππ
i should not be awake rn but id just like to say that i dreamt of baby got7 and us being besties, i MISS them
like this guy wasnt even physically threatening to a normal person. but /I/ knew he was. and no one would believe me or understand. he may have been smaller than me but he was terrifying. a psychotic guy who had no sense of remorse or boundaries in any capacity whatsoever
i also just remembered a conversation i had with my sister in law yesterday and issues i had to deal with at work so maybe that is what triggered the dream :/
i cant help but think that that must be the way people being stalked and threatened must constantly feel like
end well. part of me hoped that maybe , just maybe, it would turn out okay that time
i was so fearful and anxious the whole dream. constantly trying to run away but he always found me.. at one point i gave up trying to live a normal life because i knew he'd always be there. i knew no one would be able to help me but i always hoped someone would step in. even if i knew it wouldnt
trust me, i think i made the same exact mistake with cst and google. i now just rely on the world clock on our iphones :')