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Matthew Lyons

@cannibalghosts

Horror novelist. Monster Mash enthusiast. πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ

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05.08.2023
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Latest posts by Matthew Lyons @cannibalghosts

Preview
Aide Wearily Begins 5th Explanation Of Why Trump Can’t Pardon Prince Andrew WASHINGTONβ€”Exhausted from repeated efforts to explain the most basic aspect of political power, an aide to President Trump nevertheless began wearily explaining for the fifth time Friday why he couldn...

β€œI know Andrew is a good man who’s been treated terribly, but you remember when we learned a few minutes ago that England and the United States are two different countries?” said Senior Advisor Gerald Donovan

21.02.2026 00:30 πŸ‘ 2149 πŸ” 350 πŸ’¬ 26 πŸ“Œ 17

the quiet panic of being a novelist with an em-dash tattoo in the age of chatgpt

21.02.2026 00:34 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
A SKELATIN CHANNELIN DA TRUTH'S OF DA UNIVERSE!!!! FUCK ALL COPS FUCK ALL BOSSES!!! A COP IS A FORM OF BOSS! A BOSS IS A FORM OF COP! LET THE MEMORY OF NO OPPRESSOR GO UNSPAT UPON!!!!! RETWEET THIS WHILE ITS STILL LEGAL!!!! RETWEET IT ON BLUE SKY YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

A SKELATIN CHANNELIN DA TRUTH'S OF DA UNIVERSE!!!! FUCK ALL COPS FUCK ALL BOSSES!!! A COP IS A FORM OF BOSS! A BOSS IS A FORM OF COP! LET THE MEMORY OF NO OPPRESSOR GO UNSPAT UPON!!!!! RETWEET THIS WHILE ITS STILL LEGAL!!!! RETWEET IT ON BLUE SKY YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

FUCK EMM - dashare.zone ADMIN

19.12.2025 20:50 πŸ‘ 378 πŸ” 102 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 1

As always, and until the end of fucking time, wake me when it sticks

17.12.2025 00:27 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0


Nick Pettigrew
@Nick_Pettigrew
Polio was eradicated because Jonas Salk chose not to patent the vaccine, if you want a perfect example of a socialist act.
Quote

Garry Kasparov
@Kasparov63
Β·
Jun 24
Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Nick Pettigrew @Nick_Pettigrew Polio was eradicated because Jonas Salk chose not to patent the vaccine, if you want a perfect example of a socialist act. Quote Garry Kasparov @Kasparov63 Β· Jun 24 Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

REMINDER: A socialist act by a New Yorker was a major reason why polio was eliminated in the US.

04.11.2025 22:41 πŸ‘ 15805 πŸ” 4364 πŸ’¬ 270 πŸ“Œ 101
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I knew it would take less than a day for a tiktok dj to make something.

05.11.2025 12:13 πŸ‘ 19788 πŸ” 5859 πŸ’¬ 260 πŸ“Œ 744

There are people who will probably tell you not to gloat today but I am petty and spiteful and I will absolutely gloat because fascists are weird freaks who deserve to be shamed.

05.11.2025 13:44 πŸ‘ 21 πŸ” 4 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 1
Photo of NBC’s exit poll data (from my work laptop, lol) showing Mamdani splitting the straight vote equally with Cuomo, but taking the LGBTQ+ vote by more than 5:1. Even though the LGBTQ+ slice is only 14% of the population, they were a LANDSLIDE in his favor.

Photo of NBC’s exit poll data (from my work laptop, lol) showing Mamdani splitting the straight vote equally with Cuomo, but taking the LGBTQ+ vote by more than 5:1. Even though the LGBTQ+ slice is only 14% of the population, they were a LANDSLIDE in his favor.

This needs more attention: Zohran SPLIT the straights with Cuomo. ALL of his margin was from LGBTQ+ voters. Every Dem who ever said β€œwe should abandon the transes” needs this shoved down their fucking throat with a ramrod.

05.11.2025 05:39 πŸ‘ 12196 πŸ” 4092 πŸ’¬ 56 πŸ“Œ 192

Hey, thank you so much! I'm super stoked you dug it.

19.09.2025 22:19 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

- you clean up that banksy?
- sure did, your honour, leaving a perfect, permanent outline, imbuing the work with real fuckin gravitas while making its point better than the artist did himself just like you asked

10.09.2025 13:02 πŸ‘ 20089 πŸ” 5837 πŸ’¬ 124 πŸ“Œ 48

I will not waste a moment grieving for someone who wanted my loved ones dead, thanks

10.09.2025 21:11 πŸ‘ 139 πŸ” 18 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

Will be interesting to see which news outlets omit his years of violent white nationalism. I'm guessing practically every single one.

10.09.2025 21:07 πŸ‘ 9341 πŸ” 1699 πŸ’¬ 155 πŸ“Œ 55
an assortment of horror books on a carpeted floor

an assortment of horror books on a carpeted floor

new & restocked horror now available at b&n sioux falls!

31.08.2025 00:27 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
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A couple books that have risen from the grave and made their way into our inbox! #Wyndclyffe #AMaskofFlies #Artifact from
@joehart1.bsky.social @cannibalghosts.bsky.social @torbooks @jrobinsonauthor.bsky.social

Go to linktr.ee/locusmagazine for all things new in the horror genre!
Link in bio

03.09.2025 15:31 πŸ‘ 8 πŸ” 3 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
In a desolate plain, fallen and kneeling men impaled in the back with knives, seem to worship in adulation a giant floating kitchen knife.

In a desolate plain, fallen and kneeling men impaled in the back with knives, seem to worship in adulation a giant floating kitchen knife.

Apotheosis of the Knife

17.08.2025 22:03 πŸ‘ 2289 πŸ” 540 πŸ’¬ 35 πŸ“Œ 7

The announcer declares β€œwelcome to San Jose, the heart of Silicon Valley” as the lady struggles & can’t get the self checkout machine to work for a customer.

She sees me, I use cash, & am done in 2 seconds.

Techbros have made the world a worse place & sold you on lies.

& they hate artists.

18.08.2025 13:42 πŸ‘ 31 πŸ” 6 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Denver and surrounding area, come celebrate the launch of THIS IS MY BODY with @rachelfeder.bsky.social and @cannibalghosts.bsky.social and @mariaabrams.bsky.social and me!

25.07.2025 20:33 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

yknow, after a week and a half on the salmonella-cucumber hellcoaster, I'd really fuckin like to get off the ride already

04.06.2025 13:43 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Democrats… learn something from this

04.06.2025 01:21 πŸ‘ 2167 πŸ” 423 πŸ’¬ 24 πŸ“Œ 7

It takes a super genius in business to look at the Forbes Contributor pages and ChatGPT slop full of hallucinations and go: "Our well respected newspaper should stop being a well respected newspaper and instead be like those two things"

04.06.2025 03:29 πŸ‘ 95 πŸ” 6 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 0

Wow Bezos really did kill WaPo huh

04.06.2025 03:26 πŸ‘ 99 πŸ” 5 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 1
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right about now the funk soul brother check it out now the funk soul brother right about now the funk soul brother check it out now the funk soul brother right about now the funk soul brother check it out now the funk soul brother right about now the funk soul brother check it out now the funk sou

09.04.2025 19:01 πŸ‘ 7674 πŸ” 2385 πŸ’¬ 88 πŸ“Œ 117

Always loved that John Redcorn was a largely decent guy but realistically flawed on a show made in an era where Native depictions tended to be exoticized and one-dimensional even when they were positive

03.06.2025 13:05 πŸ‘ 139 πŸ” 12 πŸ’¬ 8 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
MAGA Voter Assumed Trump Would Only Deport People On List She Mailed To White House SAN DIEGOβ€”Shocked by the Immigration and Customs Enforcement raids affecting her very own community, local 43-year-old Jillian Beamer told reporters Monday she had assumed President Donald Trump would...

The Onion continues to be the most reliable source for your news.
theonion.com/maga-voter-a...

03.06.2025 13:55 πŸ‘ 55 πŸ” 11 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 1

Sex Criminal Andrew Cuomo: In Hindsight, I Should Have Gotten Away With It

03.06.2025 13:17 πŸ‘ 140 πŸ” 26 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 1

I’m not going to inflict an AI generated Calvin & Hobbes on you but I do want to say it should be legal for those responsible to be hunted for sport by Bill Watterson

03.06.2025 13:16 πŸ‘ 69 πŸ” 13 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 0

The New York Times: Whatever It Is, It's Complicated!β„’

03.06.2025 13:16 πŸ‘ 238 πŸ” 57 πŸ’¬ 20 πŸ“Œ 13

very in keeping with JF’s Whole Thing: doing the stupidest lowest-common-denominator shit imaginable while insisting he’s a heterodox truth teller

03.06.2025 14:17 πŸ‘ 56 πŸ” 8 πŸ’¬ 5 πŸ“Œ 0

I think at some point we have to stop indulging the fiction that conservatism is a legitimate political tendency and isn't simply a grievance cult for those who value the ability to enact cruelty over their literal basic needs.

03.06.2025 05:24 πŸ‘ 3799 πŸ” 1004 πŸ’¬ 64 πŸ“Œ 49

Family, this is not a big ask, and it's Pride month. I'd love to see some of our allies do the actual ally thing and help these two out. Donating directly will always do more good than giving to big orgs or politicians, and certainly more than supporting rainbow capitalism.

02.06.2025 06:15 πŸ‘ 134 πŸ” 131 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 0