jesse

Sometimes a team is given a penalty kick, not because they are “fouled”, but because the team and the fans simply deserve it.

Been trying some different canned mocktails and I accidentally got one that's like a mimosa but has caffeine in it? Somehow it feels more alcoholic to drink a fake mimosa in the morning than an actual drink after dinner.

luckily if all the gas dries up we live in the middle of a very walkable 4 highway interchange.

What did she major in?

My beautiful, perfect, BLAMELESS, pregnant wife loves sending me out to put the nice sandwich artists at subway through absolute hell.

James Talarico Puts His Faith in Texas Voters The Senate candidate believes that Democrats can win by appealing to higher values. Can he succeed in the age of Trump?

The Texas Senate candidate James Talarico is “not a huge fan of being *against* someone,” he said. The Republican candidate “Ken Paxton is a symptom, not the disease, and so is Donald Trump—they are the products of a broken system.” newyorkermag.visitlink.me/pbrJ4_

I updated my Macbook and the instant it finished, before I even got the welcome animation or the login screen, I got a popup from Acrobat asking if it could access all my other apps.

According to my 2 year old his favorite author is “Dr. Soups”

These guys claim to be the best in the world and yet they fold instantly when faced with a moving target.

i'm watching darts

Finally, the perfect multiview.

I like the part in stranger things when they let gelman riff in russian for 6 straight episodes.

Love when the whole timeline is posting about the week's Blank Check movie.

So weird watching later season king of the hill and hearing like Will Arnett pop up.

Is this filling the chivette shaped hole in your heart?

The rest of the show is shot like a TNT original I gasped when this happened.

Had to find it. One perfect shot.

My two year old is obsessed with "skeltons" so we have to go find them in every store we go to. I'm genuinely scared for November he is going to be devastated.

I'm excited. Enjoying all of the sports owners dropping in for awkward cameos in this season.

In season 2 episode 5 of Billions, there is a 2 second long split diopter shot of Paul Giamatti staring longingly at a delicious sandwich.

KotH really comes out firing on all cylinders from episode 1.

Toddler has instated a “no sitting down” rule for the house. Not even when we watch tv. The only time we are allowed to sit is when he is in his high chair eating.

Oh people love Oscar but Bert is a jerk? He’s a literal monster living in a garbage can who hates everyone. If you relate to Oscar turn yourself in to a laboratory so they can get better at profiling killers

An oatmeal cream pie is actually very healthy to eat before bed.

I watched the version with the placeholder VFX so it was funny a lot more often.

Tiny baby girl behind us in church yesterday ripped a massive fart in the middle of the sermon.

"well, you done well for yourself"

"got you a- a couch with a bunch of cupholders in it"

i bet i think about this line from The Righteous Gemstones a solid 8-10 times a year