DannyNotGranny

Man pro wrestling is so sick

Egg

Yeah, but what is a goo goo doll?

TUI till I die.

“Damn that’s crazy”
Is the line I use when I’m not really listening or when I’m lying to a police officer about something I did or did not witness

Selling my Wii U that I bought at launch to help cover bills felt like putting a bullet in the head of my firstborn child

Everyone under the age of 26 will never understand the limitless power you felt using a wavebird controller for the first time. You mean to tell me I can play mariokart double dash from the other side of the room with NO wires?

I am not saying all goatees are bad.
I am saying that I’ve seen more bad ones than good ones.
Maybe just try out the whole beard, or perhaps just a mustache

Yes Toby Keith was the personification of everything wrong with post 9/11 American imperialism and toxic patriotism.

But god damn he had some TRACKS.

“Local band shit” is referred to as such because dorks in local ass bands keep doing the same embarrassing shit.

You did the pizza equivalent of “My child is 24 months old” your child is 2 and you ate a whole domino’s pizza

Brother that’s a whole pizza

The song Iris by the goo goo dolls will always bring me back to that one fateful day I decided to go to a Pizza Hut lunch buffet by myself, the lyrics “I don’t want the world to see me cause I don’t think that they’d understand” hits harder when you’re a grown adult eating an embarrassing meal alone

You know your judo well

You know a Chinese buffet hates to see me coming