dave

bet you're cuter in it than sjp

stroked: buying new
woke: buying used
bespoke: buying pre-loved

"hey baby, are you folgers coffee? because you make me wanna mountain grown. "

"HEY!! WANNA MAKE OUT?"

i think of them as silly little parties they throw for themselves and sometimes there's prezzies for us :)

no they just call it "music" because they don't have so many uptight white people

a cop who goes to jail has a target on his back. a pedo cop? i bet he'll have a target and a carny barker giving out prizes

nice, sometimes i can do that with the roller dogs during the shift change at the Pass 'n' Gas

whenever you look for the origins of those "national days" you'll find that they start with commercial trade associations boosting their products

The fact that you seem to think wrestling fans believe literally in the story arcs presented in the theatre of the ring is a very depressing window into your own low level of intelligence, poindexter.

lol this crybaby is still here?

...that you know of

is there anyone here who would NOT name a pet beaver Norbert? (those who would name a pet beaver Dagget need not reply 😎)

a chicken, seated at a dining table, is given 2 sunny side up eggs for breakfast and looks at them sadly

made from his kids

its a slow-to-die holdover attitude from the times when books were produced mostly by hand, expensive, and rare.

today we churn out so much worthless chum, at least 75% of whats printed is barely fit to start a charcoal grill

when my grandaunt died i filled a recycling dumpster with newspapers, magazines, & mass market paperbacks after phone calls and emails to anyone i could think of failed to find homes for them.

not even nursing homes and senior centers were interested in any of the books

i had to clear a friend's storage unit after he died. i kept some rare books in my peculiar field of interest (mostly medieval & renaissance art and university press reprints of various books of hours & manuscripts) but the vast majority of his printed matter got donated to libraries

people who say "no such thing as too many books!" never had to clean out a hoard.

no one wants the shelves full of reader's digest condensed books.

or the complete works of danielle steele

or the stacks of forgettable paperbacks read once & never again but which muat be KEPT bc BOOKS are HOLY

theyn't

all those boner pills...

don martin self portrait from the cover of a mad magazine anthology

dude's a living don martin character

mom's 90 & mostly used her cell phone but she won't give up her landline because its her spam trap 🤣

fucking hell i'm not paying 2026 prices for corned beef. i'm going to bust up a can of corned beef, add some finely diced potatoes, and make gołąbki (cooking them in chicken stock instead of tomato sauce and serving with onion pierogi, mustard, & horseradish)

faux-irish/polish fusion cuisine

its because of sperm dilation which happens when going way up in the sky.

look up there, see how tiny airplanes get when flying? well sperms dont take well to getting shrunk like that, even though people on the plane can't even tell they being squished

my mom's landline telephone number has been in the family since 1938 and we plan to have it assigned to a cell phone line when she goes sliced bread so it becomes part of her legacy

ayatollah balrogi says "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"

fuck yeagh

space hippies decry herbert on the way to eden

you are not of the Body.

are you One, herbert?