Stamped envelope hung with scotch tape above a commode with the handwritten message: reminder flush after use

Dont know what my barber is expecting me to put in this envelope, but the postage is paid, so 🤷

And no height was left unwuthered.

Yeah I do Romanian deadlifts. Lately I can bench press 4 Draculas.

I just feel like monsters should be named after what's scary about them. Cyclops? Nah, he's a Mean Big Boy.

Time for Seattle to let some of the second stringers get some playtime. (The second stringers are members of Mudhoney, probably.)

No offense to the one from SNL, but given his magnetic ability to cultivate an audience's calls-and-responses, Cab Calloway was clearly the original Hi-Dee Gardner. #superbowl

They should have little 30 second sports matches at regular intervals a few times an hour during the CLIO awards just to make it fair.

I think the Mr. Bean franchise have been more popular if it had started as a novel the way Richard Curtis originally planned. Or less popular. Or the same popular.

Superstition says you can't say Auld Lang Syne at a New Years Party. We call it "the Scottish song."

I dont think they should have inducted Jeffry Epstein into the #RockAndRollHallOfFame tonight. Like, read the room.

#RockHall2025 #RockHall #MusicHistory

Have some respect....

@learnedleague.com Thorsten, what are you doing to me with this promotion to A? I'm a-scared.

I agree with this!

I know this guy, and yes, you should get ready.

Um, ok, if I suddenly retire and if I suddenly have my balls gold-plated this December, its because of this Christmas song i just wrote.

Matt Hatt Jerky packaging with copy revealing "11-year-old makes world's best jerky" and a photo of Matt wherein he is wearing a cowboy hat.

Me sampling jerky at a mall kiosk: "This jerky tastes so good, it had to have been made by a 12 year old boy who wasn't wearing a hat."

Employee at @matthatjerky.bsky.social kiosk: "Buckle up, fucko, cause I'm about to blow your mind."

More like Paul Midwesterberg.

Screenshot of a government website for Siuslaw National Forest, with a sinister unwanted propaganda message overlaid on it.

If you look at the name of this national forest, you'll notice that its name is exactly Waluigi spelled backwards. This should tell you that something is afoot.

An assortment of numbers between 1 and 75, arranged in a 5 by 5 grid with a free space in the middle spot? I didnt have that on my bingo card.

Broke my duolingo streak today. Now I don't know if I even WANT to learn Nell.

I don't trust anyone that's got a skeleton inside them. Have you seen those things?!

Much health and healing to the deceased and his festival.

Turning Point's stuff has gone downhill the past couple days.

He's in heaven now, making amazing music with Jimi Hendrix, Janis Jopin, Franz Liszt, and Bruce Springsteen. I imagine him playing hambone percussion.

Ok, but whose phone should I be using?

Ok, but whose phone should I be using?

I hope the Pentagon is ordering some cuh-RAZY bread, on accounta how insane the whole thing is.

They full on made C. Thomas Howell do whiteface in The Outsiders....smh

There's nothing in the rulebook that says a dog can't be Air Budd Dwyer.

In Soviet Russia, Shudder presents Corn in the Clownfield.