why did we even domesticate peeves
10.03.2026 15:00
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Getting the supreme car wash because I love sour cream
10.03.2026 12:27
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Just *trying out some new material here.
*deleting everything
11.03.2026 08:52
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why up doing their best, trying to keep the past in the past
11.03.2026 09:03
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😂🥰 first thing i thought was i hope my daughter feels the same when shes grown
11.03.2026 09:03
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😂 im near a space age in sellwood, the cheapest in se and it was busier than usual. the idea of driving to suburbs to a Costco is beyond me
11.03.2026 08:58
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as a man i can confidently say that we all look so dumb when we mosey through a room
11.03.2026 02:22
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four cheese, really?
like fourmaggio wasn’t right there
11.03.2026 04:36
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blaming high gas prices on orange mocha frappuccinos
11.03.2026 05:25
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🤣 mums are rough across the pond
10.03.2026 22:12
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or im sending her to some place i found for all ages. anyways go Portland, lifetime member 💙💚
10.03.2026 22:12
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😂 im good but sending my daughter there this summer to learn!
10.03.2026 22:10
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I don't need fun to have alcohol.
10.03.2026 19:43
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I went off-roading aka walked through the grass.
10.03.2026 16:41
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😂 like simply nope you're gross
10.03.2026 19:53
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THEM: omg they look just like you
ME: did you just call my baby ugly
10.03.2026 03:42
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🤣😂😂😂😂 so felt
10.03.2026 19:52
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She is a tuxedo cat with stuff from my hasty move stacked behind her.
I moved at the end of November, but it was ridiculous so my belongings are still mostly packed up and either in storage or just crammed into the tiny house with the kitties.
Ruby refuses to look at the camera unless the garbage bags full of bedding are in the background.
10.03.2026 17:47
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"GET IN MY HEAD, MOTHER-FUCKER," because I shout at words rather than read them now, I guess.
10.03.2026 13:26
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i refuse to put on clothes until the 5 minutes before i need to leave for work
10.03.2026 16:55
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I hate kids because my niece and nephew will spend all day humming 7 Nation Army, so I'll put it on for them and they'll be like WHAT IS THIS
10.03.2026 18:19
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All I'm asking for is jokes which don't require me to be under 40 and don't require me to watch the news
10.03.2026 15:39
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If it’s over everyone’s head or has a typo please return it, it’s mine.
10.03.2026 19:46
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Really getting tired of people insisting that I respect their personal space at this orgy 🫤
10.03.2026 18:05
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Grown ass adults using God as an excuse to not act on anything. Religion ruined us.
10.03.2026 19:34
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I feel so much safer now that the Ayatollah Khamenei has been replaced by the Ayatollah Khamenei.
10.03.2026 18:40
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😂 tossing it in the bag
10.03.2026 19:49
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My kid lost his first tooth, so I looked up inflation rates to see what the dollar I got as a kid would be worth today. Based on my calculations, he’s owes the tooth fairy about 5.3 more teeth.
10.03.2026 19:02
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Me: Party’s over. You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.
Mom: I own this house. You just live in the basement. Now put away your action figures- I mean, party guests.
10.03.2026 19:27
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😂 am i
10.03.2026 19:47
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