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Matt Collette

@mattcollette

Attorney. DOJ Civ App. alum. Double Dog Dad. Survivor. Was never very good at ice hockey (but I tried). D.C/Maryland and Ogdensburg NY.

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28.10.2023
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Latest posts by Matt Collette @mattcollette

It's spam if they don't mention the year. If it's Macallan 12 NFW. But 18? Maybe.

Could be worse, though. At least they didn't offer you BLENDED scotch.

13.03.2026 14:27 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

That's not enough (based on my own experience). They need:

1 week before: "Wait, do I have the deadline right?" - .2
5 days before: "Are we sure about the deadline?" - .2
3 days before: "Oh sh*t did we f*uck up the deadline?"- .3
1 day before: "Srsly are we REALLY f*cking sure?" - .5

11.03.2026 15:07 ๐Ÿ‘ 5 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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a man in a suit and tie is talking to another man in a room while another man looks on . ALT: a man in a suit and tie is talking to another man in a room while another man looks on .

Yesterday at @baltimoreravens.bsky.social HQ.

11.03.2026 13:48 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Are you sure he wasn't thinking "can a dog get restraining order?"

06.03.2026 13:35 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I've been gone since 2018, but when I was there DOJ attorneys absolutely had to be barred somewhere (although maybe not in the state where their office was). People got disciplined if they let their state (or DC) bar licenses lapse.

05.03.2026 20:56 ๐Ÿ‘ 13 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 4 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Surely I can't be the only one to see this quote and think immediately of the Monty Python Bruces' Philosopher Song.

02.03.2026 18:22 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Two Ravens perched on a tree branch.

Two Ravens perched on a tree branch.

Nature reminding me that I have to renew my @baltimoreravens.bsky.social season tickets.

15.02.2026 20:49 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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It's 14 degrees outside.

10.02.2026 00:18 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Please tell me the investigation is called Operation Ski Pole.

05.02.2026 21:11 ๐Ÿ‘ 40 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Well I have no skill in assaulting a monastery so I think we're even.

It's such a shame that kids today can't construct a decent siege tower.

02.01.2026 18:05 ๐Ÿ‘ 4 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

"You don't seem like a Californian. [Pause] Particularly not a SOUTHERN Californian."

From a DOJ colleague (who I called "dude" every time I saw him after that).

31.12.2025 13:59 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

"Collette, you couldn't block your way out of a wet paper sack!"
Coach Sims, sophomore year at La Mirada HS (it was one of his favorite rants and not entirely without merit).

26.12.2025 02:42 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Some people say Golden Retrievers are smart ...

21.12.2025 00:34 ๐Ÿ‘ 9 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

There is no such thing as a "short' flight to or from O'Hare Airport. The only question is whether the time on the tarmac will exceed the time in the air.

At this point I'm not sure if we're just going to taxi to Ottawa on the plane instead of fly.

19.12.2025 00:49 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Interesting to see there are no career DOJ attorneys on this filing.

12.12.2025 21:01 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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a group of people are sitting next to each other and one of them is saying well she turned me into a newt ALT: a group of people are sitting next to each other and one of them is saying well she turned me into a newt

WAY more than six times.

08.12.2025 00:49 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Ravens-Steelers in the battle for AFC North supremacy (aka the Mediocrity Bowl).

07.12.2025 18:09 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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The good part of the leaves falling off the trees is that we have a view of the eagle who likes to perch in the tree out back.

26.11.2025 18:57 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Happy Exploding Whale Day for those who celebrate :)

12.11.2025 17:42 ๐Ÿ‘ 131 ๐Ÿ” 37 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 7 ๐Ÿ“Œ 6

Mamdani is going to implement Maria Reynolds law and I just can't say no to this.

09.11.2025 17:24 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Why I Am Leaving the Federal Bench A judge explains his reasons for resigning.

A leading federal judge quits in protest of Trump's corruption-- & to fight it

Wow

www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2025/1...

09.11.2025 13:51 ๐Ÿ‘ 1486 ๐Ÿ” 621 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 57 ๐Ÿ“Œ 66

You forgot to mention that Admiral Halsey had the distinct honor of being featured in a Paul McCartney song.

29.10.2025 12:40 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Potsdam NY

18.10.2025 15:54 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I am fairly certain that every member of the Trump administration copied off of someone else's paper in History class (and Civics, and ... well, most others).

16.10.2025 12:31 ๐Ÿ‘ 4 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Pretty sure this is how the Zombie Apocalypse starts.

03.10.2025 16:05 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Hope it's true. With those people gone we can provide health care for all and sensible gun restrictions. Just think of what we can accomplish without them standing in the way!

21.09.2025 17:59 ๐Ÿ‘ 4 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

It was dark and I didn't see the skunk in the backyard.

One of the dogs definitely saw the skunk and decided it was prey. He paid the price of his hubris.

And now we are paying the price as well.

If you're wondering, the price continues for a while (3 days and the meter is still running).

17.09.2025 21:48 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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The rains in Canada.

29.08.2025 23:07 ๐Ÿ‘ 4 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Likely a nickname given to him by many women over the years.

27.08.2025 23:38 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Kid next door is going to kayak across the St. Lawrence to Canada today (parents accompanying in their boat). I told him to map out the currents and potential good landing spots ... for no reason whatsoever. Nope, no reason at all to do that- just totally out of curiosity.

29.07.2025 16:06 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0