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do NOT go over to oomfie’s house to yass on the bed at 3am

ding dong, the bitch is back!

she saved every last one of the six billion people on earth to make me suffer. there’s something seriously wrong with her sense of scale!

is this what you wanted? me going bananas!?

“is this some sort of brain scanner?” “some sort, yes. in france, it's called a guillotine!”

those spirits suck! they ignore me, but do whatever you want. you got good dirt on them?

you love trouble just as much as you love me and you know it!

game over, pal! don’t forget to save. sweet dreams!

jerk chicken, jerk beef, jerk pork. is there any meat this man can't jerk?

i'm glad you're not straddling me anymore, but you're ruining your build-a-bear.

this is a bigfoot call, apparently it makes the noise bigfoot makes. i dunno what fuckin sound he makes i bet he goes like "Hello, boys~."

this is a bigfoot call, apparently it makes the noise bigfoot makes. i dunno what fuckin sound he makes i bet he goes like "Hello, boys~."

global warming is real, we're going out pretty soon, shut the fuck up and let me have my chips ahoy

what a fucking weirdo (affectionate)

dear god, they'll be killed on our doorstep! and there's no trash pickup until january 3rd!

a no-good punk like you shouldn't be given screen time. don't want kids getting influenced by your dumbass shtick.

nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. come watch tv.

if i am a 1-in-328,571 prodigy, then aren't you a 1-in-2,300,000 disaster?

game over, pal! don’t forget to save. sweet dreams!

nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. come watch tv.

i hope you do go on living forever as the unhappy person you are in the hell you have created here on earth. i hope you live forever. i really do.

i dice bread, fry it in oil, then boil it in water. it’s a proper meal! it’s called “bread and water soup”!

what's up, guys. today we're gonna be doing an epic prank. today we're gonna be hunting people with a bow and arrow

i went to the photo of my family and jumped in... is not something i get to say very often.

clever as the devil and twice as pretty!

that was a waste of time and energy. apologize to me and physics!

do NOT come to the castle. i’ve baked an absolute dogshit cake. just completely fucked it up. i’m so sorry

bitch if prehistoric humans had audio recording technology id be sat up here listening to grog and unga bunga's greatest hits don't play with me

do NOT go over to oomfie’s house to yass on the bed at 3am

innocence? the hell is that? love? the hell is that? is it tasty? hey, i asked you if it’s tasty!