Schizzomorro
11.03.2026 02:23
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Schizzomorro
Best extremely real news I’ve heard all day!
Lol
Thank you for your service 🫡
Who is “the I”?
Conan O'Brien in his "the year 2000" sketch
Donald Trump will kill the supreme leader of Iran, and then he will get bored and try to pretend he didn't
It is exactly as it seems
Did I mention a coupla weeks ago we were driving in our neighborhood and waited for a guy and his dog on a leash at a stop sign and halfway across the street he stops and turns back and slaps his thighs (as you do to call an animal) and a cat ran to catch up with them and they all continued on
Oh yeah. I guess he found out they have a bar
Locally Noted at best
Claude, are Necrons Jesus?
Pretty astonishing. All of it. Felony Murder as a legal concept and Kay Ivey commuting it
All Italians look the same. Even the white ones. Cæsar’s Curse they call it
my eyes roll back and black smoke bubbles out of my mouth, along with the four dreaded words:
"CLOWN EVENT STILL POSSIBLE"
Shia laBoeuf terrorizing the neighborhood bars is funny (especially given the neighborhood), but showing up at the Lawn Tennis Club and drunkenly offering $20,000 for anyone who dares play him is pretty damn good in my book
500 likes and I'll call out tomorrow and get day drunk and play video games
Correction: Ponyo is about Liam Neeson fucking a fish
I am his constituent and I do pronounce it that way
Trump's health plan, his solution to the high costs of insurance...is just for people to not have insurance?
Be free. Live your life
Piers Morgan's media company is seeking $30 million in new investment
endlessly curious how the biggest, loudest, dumbest pieces of shit have no problem getting funding, but actual public interest journalists everywhere subsist on pocket lint and breadcrumbs
Wearing a kraft single on my arm as a patch until lunch
Fictional? *uncocks crossbow, pulls duck tape off* I guess you’re free to go, Mr, uh, Mikkelsen
Obviously 9
Frunchables
Public defenders’ offices should have the same budget as the DA’s office and the cops combined
There really aren’t a lot of country bands anymore are there? It’s just Elbow Fructose and his replaceable poltroons
[helping my caveman friend fill out some applications]
Just put the date you thawed.
I know you said country, but I keep imagining it was Kansas
