Zach

Wow I found a DISGUSTING new energy drink

Connor Storie Ian McKellan in 60 years

MAUD BEACON

If you aren’t eating frozen pop tarts, you’re only getting half the story

Made short ribs for a boy who promptly had an allergic reaction and had to leave my home.

Everyone out walking their ugly ass dogs

The Pitt is both trying to teach me lessons and trying to teach me lessons

This is the year I learn what the blood pressure numbers mean

I want a “just congratulating you on your body” button on grindr

My nose is extremely crooked

I have something to say

Me

Hundreds of men in my mentions like “noooooooo. Ur so handsome!!” … Grow up. There are bigger fish to fry.

Is that construction right? I’m in outer space.

You’d tell me if my thumbnail on sniffies were bad, right?

80% of what my vacuum picks up is poptart crumbs

I’m ugly in person but hot on zoom and that has helped my career immensely

I hate everyone who commutes at the same time as me so much

If you don’t like wuthering heights you’re a loser with bad breath!!

Day three of new towels… bleach stains

Date idea: we watch Wuthering Heights then The Substance

Being a human is so weird

Watching Return to Oz

Hey

As a person of bad hair experience I love that Ilya Melinin also has bad hair

Sometimes I randomly open the times app on the off chance that I discover that he’s dead the second they post it

Omg

Is the shareholder value in the room with us right now?

I’m grateful for hot people but I’ve also had enough