"defense" corporations are just neoliberal mercenary companies

wifes makin tubes fer supper again blimey

fascism is here. rightwingers do not believe in laws. they must be punished for this

they already have at least twice now

20 men had tried to suck him
20 men had made him jizz
21 would be the ranger with the big iron on his dick

do warriors who die of dysentery while on campaign go to valhalla?

$80 for mario kart is craaazy

love all of the utilities on these new carhartt pants

early to bed early to rise makes a girl bumble mumble and cry

outer wilds is, for my money, one of the greatest video games of all time by a significant margin. it's also impossible to talk about because anything you tell someone detracts from their experience of discovery. really a beautiful work of art with nothing else like it

Overheard at the bar I work at:

"I can't believe I always get ID'd, people think I'm fucking 19 or something!"

"How old are you?"

"I'm *almost* 22!!"

"wowww"

i just invented a new and unintuitive math problem about probabilities. sort of a paradox, lol

i call it the haunty mall problem, so imagine you're looking for a ghost in 1 of 3 storefronts-

It happened to me: a 40 year old woman with too much lip filler lectured me about seed oils

do NOT try to make an omlet from your leftover eggwash it's NOT WORTH IT!!

okay how do i get my discover feed here to not be libbed up

christian nationalists are utopians, but their idea of utopia is everybody gets killed n the world ends.

yeah but if you do that your ankles are gonna chafe

JUST IN: In response to growing concerns regarding decling birthrates, President Donald J. Trump will reportedly sign an executive order this friday legalizing mpreg.

Hit LIKE if you think this is a WIN for DEMOCRACY!!

My phone was having a lot of problems the last 2 weeks. Running slow, UI freezing, would crash multiple times a day. All of this started happening out of nowhere. Was on the verge of throwing in the towel and buying a new phone

Since I deleted twitter: all of that stopped happening

is this a safe place to admit that "pokemon go to the polls" is actually really funny

My (35M) boss (67M) sent me on a work trip to meet with a client (400?M) who kept me as a pet and sucked me. My wife (25F) is mad at me, AITA?

Edit for context: i also did sign divorce papers but as i said in the comments i think i was tricked

edit 2: please stop downvoting

john wick 1: there's 1 rule that every assassin must follow

john wick 2: there's 2 rules that every assassin must follow

john wick 3: you are not prepared for how many rules there are

becoming an annoying snyder cut guy but for a 6 hour cut of both dune movies with the deleted scenes

in the future people wont have assholes any more, instead we'll evolve an AC outlet where our assholes used to be

been hearing concerning reports that henry kissinger slipped on a banana peel, then an anvil fell on his head, followed by a safe, then he opened the safe from the inside before a piano fell and finished the job. heartbreaking

Halloween drivers are up there with NYE drivers tbqh

Taylor swift movie started playing partway through flower moon and it was very audible

when a company is named after two men.. little bit gay lol

Buckle up america. You think this stops at diane feinstein? If they can get away with doing this to a sitting senator they're coming for everyone next

a new pair of boots would fix my life, i think