Miss Suzy

Dang.

I mean, DAAAANNNNNNG.

(taking tin of dried, shredded lead flashing out of my pocket and placing it between my cheek and gum)

I’m sorry but exactly where in the bible does it say thou shalt not pleasure thyself?

Very cute, long-eared brown and white baby goat

We got a new baby delivery today. Seven new little guys in the beer garden.

Roastin’ some beets like Satan roastin’ Christians,
They’re gonna be hot so use those oven mittens.

Do goats drink beer? Surely.

(nodding)
(brow furrowing)
(petting🐐zoo + 🍻 = $$$🪙)

Hanging out with some baby goats in a beer garden would heal me

I'm horny for vanilla married sex. I don't have enough energy for that freaky shit.

Screenshot of notifications on likes for this skeet clearly showing an avi with papal vestments and such. Bio says Pope such n such. Who am I to fucking argue. I'm a goddamn Internet Squirrel.

I'm not saying it's the realist thing ever or anything, but a Pope has blessed it. The sentiment has been blessed by a goddamn papal figure.

It's writing content for one o' them conglomeration accounts and seeing all the people who can't stand YOU liking that fucking post.

And you look in the mirror? Ha, ha. I'm guessing no.

It isn't sometimes being a squirrel or a raccoon or a uhhh...and somebody who ABSOLUTELY HATES YOU comes along and likes something. Then, once they realize it's you, tries to get you kicked off they're so pissed 😂

If I had to say which ONE thing I like best about The Internet it isn't someone else's husband sexing me up from afar

(humming He's Got The Whole World In His Hands)

[mumbling out more on the subject through a mouth full of balls]

Let me throw a lamp at you, so you'll lighten the fuck up.

(taking notes)

...suck all the balls at once

Go on.

One big boba straw isn't enough. Fill the whole cup with them so I can stretch my lips around them and suck up all the balls at once to fill my cheeks like a chipmunk carrying a nut stash

How much weed
Could a weed squirrel smoke
If a weed squirrel WERE EVEN FUCKING REAL.

You’re allowed to go mad in March. It’s a whole thing.

[flirting] we would make cute co-stars in a dateline episode

Zesty Daddy

Am I that high or our you guys funnier tonight.

It's my birthday so my wife let me suck her boyfriend's dick.

Cop: any drugs in the car?

Me: not anymore

Registratie Maria Rustwat op 3 mei 1851 te Gouderak Registratie, 3-5-1851, Gouderak, Maria Rustwat, Streekarchief Midden-Holland: Bevolkingsregister

Maria Rustwat
www.openarchieven.nl/smh:032088c5...

𝓓oes
𝓐nyone have any
𝓡italin or
𝓔cstasy

Smokeing a cigarette with my ass

Ashes to ashes

Dust to dust

If we didn't have lotion

Our peters would rust

The whole idea that the poor get over in this Country is fantasy propaganda designed to pit the poor against the ‘other’ poor.