Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him)

Torpedophile

well on the bright side, it’s not as bad as it will be tomorrow

Events | Mystic Mashup Indivisible Events

Monday, March 9, Tonight!

Join MMI for a postcarding event at Great American Beer Hall in Medford, 7-9pm.

We're writing to voters in Maine about tariff costs hitting American consumers. Bring a friend!

Great American Beer Hall
142 Mystic Avenue, Medford
www.mysticmashup.org/events/#maine

Like most Americans, I am eager to put boots on the ground in Iran.

Where I stand out is that I don’t think the boots they should have anyone wearing them at the time.

Your just jealous.

If you got a problem, yo, I'll solvent, check out the gunk, isopropyl dissolves it

Super exciting morning for me — I just got an international call from an unknown number: apparently the Ayatollahs have decided to name me new Supreme Leader of Iran!

record co. ceo, 1973: record sales are down. you’re toast

Bread: what

Operation Epic Furry

Miranda rights? but officer, I'm a Samantha

If you start screaming at the office, they'll usually just let you go home

Markwayne Gacy

Face blindness is the worst kind, because that's where your eyes are

Back in my day, you weren’t allowed to be stupid *and* evil — you had to pick just one.

Please, my masculinity, it’s very fragile

And they shall know me by the trail of sesame seeds from my morning bagel.

Cutting back on petty luxuries like food and gasoline

(turning a big rusty crank) let’s fire up another day here on the bullshit machine

What is a marink and how do you skid it?

[First Date at restaurant]

Me: “I’m buying tonight. Don’t bother calculating your share. I’m not good with money. LOL!”

*starts jamming rolled up $100 bill into my eyeball

Boycott Citizens Bank Tell Citizens Bank to stop supporting the ICE detention companies CoreCivic and GEO Group.

Please join this Saturday's MMI Standout to Boycott Citizens Bank

3/7 11-12 : two locations
Medford Square and Davis Square
www.boycottcitizens.org

#1: Medford Square, across from Citizens Bank, 1 Riverside Ave,

#2: Sidewalk near bank, Davis Square, 212 Elm St, Somerville

Elected Democrat Thrilled He Doesn't Have To Do Anything

Whoever has my voodoo doll -- please stop making me try to have sex with all these other voodoo dolls.

Oh boy, news! Let's see what they have for me. I hope it's not just telling me that punk-ass buster is still president. Okay it's still him. Tomorrow is another day.

Her: I heard you had a medical incident

Me: It was a fib

Her: I'm just telling you what I heard

[man having heart attack during flight]
Flight Attendant: IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE
Me: [raising hand] it’s not a house, it’s an airplane

A week long celebration of dad jokes, call it The Paternity Fest

[1865]
club leader: the first rule of Height club is tall people in the back
john wilkes booth: hey i can’t see. this guy in front of me won’t take off his hat
Abe Lincoln: the hat stays on
john wilkes booth: shoot. haha jk did i say shoot ? i meant dammit
Abe Lincoln: what

If they want me back they have to go fully Woke 2, sorry. Whole hog. I gotta be able to get an abortion there