Inoffensive rather than dull, but yeah, never took to Ride.

A photo of the wall at the Liquid Light brewery tap room. The wall is white painted bricks. The Liquid Light logo is painted on the wall. It's a triangle with a teardrop shape cut out of it. The words Liquid Light are painted underneath the logo, white on green. There's also a mildly psychedelic painting of a star, some clouds, and a sort of beer coloured rainbow. Below it all is an actual sideboard with various ornaments, plants, bottles and cans on it.

How's everyone on duodi 22 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV? Today we're celebrating another of Nottingham's fine craft breweries. Raise a glass to the excellent Liquid Light. Hard to find the tap room hidden on an industrial estate, but worth the effort.

A photo of a little egret, egretta garzetta, wading through a pond or river. There's a grassy bank in the background. It's a fairly big bird, though its cousin the great egret is bloody huge, hence the little egret is little in comparison. It's a type of heron, white plumage, a vicious black spike of a beak, long black legs and mahoosive yellow feet. This picture shows how big the feet are as one leg is raised

Kia ora comrades. It's primidi 21 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. Several big birds have flown overhead today. That'll be because we live near a nature reserve. Not today's celebration though, so I couldn't take a photo. Anyhow let's celebrate the little egret. Which isn't that little.

An illustration of a female figure in red leggings and a sports bra in a different shade of red doing six yoga poses. I'm afraid I don't know any of the names of the poses. Apart from the last one, which is stretching one leg behind you while sat on the floor, they look very difficult. Balancing on your hands or your head, stretching your leg behind your back and holding it with your hand, that sort of thing. One pose contorts your body into something resembling a triskelion, the three legged symbol of the Isle of Man and Sicily. Ouch!

Up & at 'em people. It's décadi 20 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. Today our celebrations are for something that's been around a lot longer than the Revolution, but I'd guess that few if anyone involved knew about yoga. Keeps you fit & flexible, calms and focuses the mind. Good, innit?

A photo of three sheets of Medium Density Fibreboard, MDF for short. They're on top of each other, so look a little like steps. Not a lot to say about MDF, is there? It's ubiquitous.

Shake your tail feathers on nonidi 19 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. As I trundle through the countryside on a train, what should we celebrate today? And there it is in front of me, and quite probably in front of you too. Medium Density Fibreboard, MDF. The world is made of it.

Saw two groups of long in the tooth punk rockers, and Irked, who are younger and bouncier. I no longer have the stamina for all dayers. Won several things in the raffle. Good fun all round.

A poster for a punk all dayer at the Red Shed in Wakefield NOW. I'm going. You? Irked headline, it'll be great.

Ah. Apparently this didn't post earlier. Anyhow, on my way to this at the Red Shed in Wakefield. Anyone else? @ohmartinc.bsky.social ?

The Bandcamp logo. A blue disc with a white parallelogram at the centre. Is it a parallelogram? It's a diamond on its side or a square with its sides at a slight angle away from ninety degrees. It's on a white background. Bandcamp is great for ordering all sorts of music, with a high percentage going directly to the artists. I've spent hundreds, possibly thousands of pounds on Bandcamp. Well, what else am I going to do? Take up golf? Sorry Rob, I'm never getting into golf.

Ey up there me ducks. It's octidi 18 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. Now I could have suggested Bandcamp as our celebration a couple of days ago, but they work by the calendar of the Vulgar Era. I'd prefer it if they did Bandcamp Nonidi. It's a great app for artists & fans, so hooray!

A photo taken by me about thirty minutes ago of the roof of St Pancras station in London. It's a cathedral of curved glass covering the concourse and the tracks. And they refer to it as a shed. Never has a descriptor seemed more inappropriate. It's a bit dark as it's a grey day and it's a camera phone photo, so not the best.

Hello there everybody on septidi 17 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. I'm speeding homewards on a train out of St Pancras. Railway architecture at its best. Though you could argue there's a sombre grace to Kings Cross, the shed at St Pancras is glorious. The photo doesn't do it justice.

A photo of a polar bear crowdsurfing. To be more accurate, a polar bear being crowdsurfed. And yes, if you have to be pedantic, it's a silly person dressed up as a polar bear being crowdsurfed. The photo is of a large crowd in a big venue, the Sheffield Leadmill in about 2013. You can make out two people on a red lit stage. The man on the left is playing an electric guitar, the woman on the right a viola. They are Jan and Abbie of British Sea Power, now known simply as Sea Power. In the centre of the picture, feet towards the stage is a fan wearing a polar bear suit and being passed overhead by the crowd towards the front. The stage lights have caught the bear, giving him an eerie green glow. Sea Power used to get two members of the crowd to don a polar bear suit, known as Bi Polar Bear, after the polar bear suited figure on the cover of the Machineries Of Joy LP. They also had an even bigger black bear suit they'd acquired that had once starred in some Hammer Horror films. That one was known as Ursine Ultra. The two bears would dance around the crowd for the last two or three songs of the set, causing amusement, bemusement and mild peril. I know all this because reader, I was that bear.

Would you believe it? Today is sextidi 16 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. On my way for an Arctic related adventure. Well, I'm going to see a performer from the Arctic. When you think of the Arctic, polar bears must be high on the list, so let's celebrate the furry chaps.

Atomizer if I'm in a grrr mood, Treasure if it's a mmm mood.

The main thing I noticed was Swans sitting uncomfortably between 10,000 Maniacs and The Sundays 😄

A photo of a wheeled suitcase on the now traditional plain white background. Most of the photos on the internet search came up with boring black cases for tough guys of all genders. Well, fuck that. This is a pale blue case on wherewith drawings of foxes, flamingoes, deers, peacocks, clouds with coloured rain and rainbows. The revised French Revolutionary Calendar celebrations says no to macho bullshit.

Hello, it's quintidi 15 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. Almost half way through this quixotic revision of the French Revolutionary Calendar and I front loaded the celebrations. Should have saved some big stuff for the final lap. Or have I? Anyway, wheelie cases. They're pretty good.

Oof! Winner, hands down.

Isn't the self titled their debut? I know it's really short, but then so is Skag Heaven...

A photo of a zebrina plant. It's my zebrina, just across from where I work. Green leaves with a purple underside. Zebrinas are very hardy plants. This one was down to a couple of small stems with only one or two leaves a few months ago, and now it's pretty wild. It's in a purple pot sat on a purple dish. In turn, that's on top of a white bookcase with various picture frames. The wall behind is painted dark blue.

How do. Best wishes to all fans of the French Revolutionary Calendar everywhere. Today is quartidi 14 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. The original version of the calendar celebrated plants all the time, but they missed out zebrinas, so we will. We won't use its outdated common name.

A photo of a silvery kitchen grater on a plain white background. It's an IKEA model, but honestly, it could have come out of your great granny's kitchen. It's a four sided metal implement, two wide sides, two narrower, with different types of edges for different grating. Careful not to catch yourself on one. Ouch!

Now then comrades. What's it like where you are this tridi 13 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV? Let's celebrate a handy kitchen item today. No doubt they had graters for cheese, carrots and what have you back in the days of the revolution, but for some reason they aren't on the list.

Paul Klee's painting Demon As Pirate. It's a little abstract,a little naive in style, but I find it haunting and strangely moving. It has a dark blue background, with some figures on a black central shape. The black is sort of the shape of Australia. There are two boats. There are figures in both. In the larger boat is a winged, humanlike form, possibly male, possibly the demon. He appears to be connected physically to the figure in the smaller boat, maybe a mermaid? There are what looks like a couple of dogs in the larger boat. The smaller boat has a net on the back of it. The smaller boat also has a red flag on the mast with either a triangular shape cut out of it or a black triangle on it. The larger boat has a similar flag on its mast but yellow and smaller. It has a big red flag on the prow. What else? There are some ghostly fish gliding around the boats. I've no idea what any of this signifies, but I really like it, so there.

Come on, let's be having you. It's duodi 12 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV, and for no good reason, let's celebrate the artist Paul Klee. I say no good reason, but I like the work of Klee, so that should be enough. Fairly sure that's how the Committee decided on the original version.

A photo of a mandarin duck couple floating serenely on a pond in Sheffield. I say couple as they mate for life. The female is at the front. She's mostly pale grey with white mottling underneath, a white eye stripe and a reddish bill. The male is behind, and he's quite extravagant. Red bull again, but a big ginger beard, black and white crest, orange sails on his wings and lots of colour on his back, but you can't see that in the photo. Mandarins were brought over from China in the nineteenth century to prettify the gardens of the wealthy. Many escaped and they're now settled across the UK. Asian species migrate, but British ones don't appear to. They must like it here.

Shiver me timbers and splice the mainbrace for primidi 11 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. Time to celebrate ducks again, since I took umbrage at the original calendar being boringly generic about waterfowl. Let's inject a dose of foreign colour with mandarin ducks.

And Matt Goodwin who DID NOT win

A photo of three motorbikes and their riders going round a dirty track at what looks to me like dangerously unstable angles. The riders and bikes are covered in advertising, because this is speedway. I have no idea how it works. It's motorbikes going round and round a circuit. I'm sure it's fun though.

Cheery waves, youngsters. It's décadi 10 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. The news reminds me that I once lived in Belle Vue, a suburb of Manchester next to Gorton. It was famous for its pleasure gardens, they were long gone & all that was left was the speedway. Let's celebrate that.

That was ace. Absolutely zero production values, but that's not stopping them 🙂

That feels quite obscure, like they only played three gigs and one was in your front room.

A photo of a plumber. Well, technically she's a former plumber now. She used to work in Manchester but now she has a job in that there London. To be precise, the photo shows a woman with long blonde hair, wearing a bright flowery top. She has a greyhound with her. The greyhound has its tongue out and is wearing a cartoon skull and crossbones bandana. They are outdoors. The woman looks tired, disheveled but happy. That's because the photo was taken at the Krankenhaus festival and I've borrowed it from her Instagram account, @hannahtheplumbermcr. She'll need to change that.

Would you believe it? Today is nonidi 9 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. I've just had the plumber round to fit a new shower head, because the old one was crap and he's just installed a new boiler here. He's one of the good plumbers. Let's celebrate them.

two men looking at a cell phone with the letters lbg on the bottom Alt: two men looking at a cell phone with the letters LBC top right.

Andy Burnham on hearing the results.

I'm not entirely sure how a motley crew of tree hugging hippies and Muslim housewives were better organised and resourced than a party of millionaire media darlings. There's industrial strength terminology for Goodwin, the kind that good plumbers use, but 'sore loser' will do for now.

Hannah Spencer walking into Westminster, sucking her teeth, tutting, and muttering "tell you what, you've had some cowboys in here."

The cover of Love and Rockets comic. It says LOVE AND ROCKETS along the top, HERNANDEZ BROTHERS at the bottom. Gilbert and Jaimie Hernandez have spent decades mapping the lives, loves and adventures of Maggie, Hopey, their friends and enemies. This cover, number one in a relaunch from a few years ago features a drawing of six women in front of a police line up wall. The one on the left is in an orange skirt and jacket, has white gloves and handbag and looks well groomed and relaxed. The other women are from left to right in a green and yellow top, looking suspicious. Front and centre the next woman in blue jeans, white vest, holding a beer bottle and looking tired. Next to her is a mechanic with goggles and a big wrench, short hair and a mildly stunned expression. Hiding behind the mechanic and the last person is an embarrassed naked person just about hiding her modesty. The last person is in a short blue dress, has long dark hair and a mischievous grin. You'll recognise most of them if you've ever read Love And Rockets. If you haven't read it, you should.

Right then where are we? Oh yeah, French Revolutionary Calendar, updated celebrations on octidi 8 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. Today, a shout out to maybe the finest example of comic books there is, both in terms of storytelling, artwork and longevity. Love And Rockets, of course.

A photo of a three hundred and forty gramme jar of Mackays thick cut orange marmalade. That's what it says on the label, as well as that it's made with whole fruit. Naturally, the marmalade is orange coloured. Mackays is made in Dundee using traditional copper pans. I know that because I've a jar in the fridge and read the label on the back. Didn't like marmalade till four or five years ago, then wham, can't get enough of the stuff. Yum.

Bonjour tout le monde on septidi 7 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. I'm sure you've had your breakfast, but if you want a snack, why not treat yourself to some marmalade on toast? Celebrate the marmalade while you're at it. Marmalade sandwiches are for small bears and children only.

Congratulations on picking one of the handful of Blur: Not Shite songs.

A photo of a MacBook Air. Other laptop computers are available and are less smug and overpriced. On the screen is the symbol of The Internet Archive. It's a stylised black image of a Doric portico, or put more simply, a couple of steps below four columns supporting a long thin rectangle and a flat triangle. Think of a Greek temple and this is likely to be what you imagine. To be absolutely sure, the word ARCHIVE is above the temple, and down the left side is the word INTERNET. The Internet Archive apparently has a trillion pages. It's enormous, difficult to navigate and full of junk, but there's also a lot of gems in there, simply doing it to preserve digital culture. Even if some of it is mid nineties online shopping catalogues.

Morning to the rest of you French Revolutionary Calendar enthusiasts, & the just curious who wonder what the heck I'm playing at. It's sextidi 6 Ventôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. Today let's celebrate the most internet thing on the internet, all trillion pages of the Internet Archive.