Tater Tot

@parakeet

100% hate my life guarantee

279
Followers 20
Following 24
Posts 10.04.2023
Joined

Posts Following

Latest posts by Tater Tot @parakeet

Life pro tip: don’t be fat ugly or stupid

05.01.2025 20:12 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 1

Is this the premium content you have been holding back from twitter

12.04.2023 23:48 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

12.04.2023 03:47 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I ate the vaccine

11.04.2023 19:13 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Question for men: you meet a girl and discover that she elected to do a non-medical full mouth dental extraction is this a smash or a red flag

11.04.2023 19:09 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 3 📌 0

This is true

11.04.2023 16:56 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

10.04.2023 20:56 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Just pick a dream from the vending machine

10.04.2023 20:48 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

She smells like suntan lotion and gasoline

10.04.2023 20:47 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Crabs are ancient creatures that look so alien that they seem cursed. Like god is speaking through the crab and the message he is trying to impart is dark and terrifying

10.04.2023 04:23 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Happy birthday :)

10.04.2023 04:02 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I agree

10.04.2023 04:02 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Mood

10.04.2023 03:59 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Mine won’t be either

10.04.2023 03:55 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Last night I made out with a Russian bot. It was kinda nice

10.04.2023 03:53 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

This is what I’ve been trying to say this entire time. Thank you.

10.04.2023 03:46 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Us: let’s be best friends and take out a shared life insurance policy

Everyone else: yehaw

10.04.2023 03:45 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Everyone else: on blast

10.04.2023 03:41 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Let’s forge an alliance

10.04.2023 03:36 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

💕

10.04.2023 03:28 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I have crabs

10.04.2023 03:21 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Yes me I’m here let’s melt our brains into a big puddle

10.04.2023 03:19 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

“Oh no not you go away”

10.04.2023 03:18 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Hello friends what type of seismic meltdown are we in the mood for today?

10.04.2023 03:18 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0