Christian Sanford

I’ve been here the whole time

Why does Delta have a better movie selection than Netflix.

One thing that is better about driving a car everywhere and not taking public transportation is that you can just scream whenever you want and it’s not weird. That’s it. That’s the one thing

U2 would be the band to play the Vegas sphere first. (Derogatory)

Reading a self help book to the sounds of smooth jazz and my neighbors baby crying themself to sleep.

Damn straight I take that personally. That frozen pizza had it coming.

It’s so funny that a hand job during a beetle juice Broadway performance could be the reason the republicans loose the house

One piece is not a show that you get through without mental illness

Free album art for any mid west emo bands thanks to some trail cam pictures I saw on tiktok.

My favorite part of making a bed is the part where you stretch the fitted sheet to the last corner and end up laying on the bed. Then taking a little break.

When bro goes too hard and you have to tuck lil homie in for the night.

Some days I just feel like the isle of a delta flight leaving Barcelona. 

Depends where the moon is. If it’s closer it stretches you out to be a bit taller. And if you’re at the equator you’re shorter cause the earth has more mass there. Drivers licenses should let us put a height range. I’d also be okay with the suffix of “ish” after your height on there.

Apparently I’ve grown two inches in my late 20s. That or my doctor just recorded my height wrong.

Inside You There Are Two Wolves? Not me I got a cat and a raccoon that are great friends.

Sorry your two cents isn’t accepted currency at this establishment

Jimmy Buffet and Steve Harwell lost in less than a week. Check in on your white friends.

Forgot some clothes in the washer while playing baldurs gate and now I’m using the dryer after hours.

Karlach disapproves
Astarion approves

AI me is stealing real me’s job. Robot me doesn’t even have to pay rent.

Just saw Barbie. Literally how does anyone walk away from that movie thinking it’s anti man

Cat

Nothing feels better than pillaging your own fridge and eating your spoils in front of the cold stale air of a moderately clean fridge.

The studio I do dubbing at has to regularly hold for a forklift. So yeah I’m in the big leagues.

In the span of five minutes I learned that Mr. Beast accidentally acknowledged the Taliban and also chinas claim to Taiwan. And then saw a lead singer at a hard core show pause his show so he could pick up a spare in the bowling alley they were performing in. The internet is a magical place. Fullmsg

My next therapy session is on 9/11

This is less addictive than tiktok, right?