avgJones

What tour?

Indecent exposure charges are about to spike

Which is how she's been able to accomplish so much... Wait, my producers are telling me she hasn't done a damn thing. On to the weather.

You were the kid to remind the teacher to check homework, weren't you?

Well that's a shame because I had the funniest bestest comeback EVER and now you'll never know

ACAB includes reply guy licence revokers

Bars.

An flower idk what kind, but real pretty. Orange petals. Nice. Good for looking at. Orange flower.

Flowers are pretty
I'm not a poet
Look at this flower
I'm not a poet

This is what American healthcare has come to

People are so fucking weird.

You just never know these days

Kobe would've been proud of him last night. Not doing whatever shit this is that you're doing.

I tell you h’what

Why is my butthole burning WHAT DID YOU DO

sometimes you just gotta laugh through all the stupidity around you

In my head it's pronounced "ask me anything"

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

- Terry Pratchett, Jingo

What the fuckery?

I need a "jump to recipe" for dealing with people

Just another fucking thing in a long line of fucking things

tell the coppers ha ha ha ha

Where's the Bloodhound Gang when you need them?

Encyclopedia Brown could fix this

My radical leftist views are I'd rather have my tax dollars going toward saving and improving lives, not death and destruction. Crazy, I know.

You got this 💪🏻

Oh he fucked up bad

Pauly Walnuts very seriously telling someone that “it’s called Broad daylight because women light up the world”

international women’s day