Ahem....
"Man can't control the weather, silly conspiracy theorist!"
Also:
"Give us your hard earned money as a Climate Tax so we can change the weather."

That kind of Science you mean?

My new favorite is the Trump Xmas song in development.
"He's making a list, he's checking it twice.
Gonna find out who's getting deported by ICE, Santa Trump is coming to your town!"

You forgot one.
+1-800-843-5678
For your Trans Uncle that thinks he can use the same restroom as his 8 year old niece.