I'm so tired of allistics bloviating about "protecting children" (e.g. the Online Safety Act) but meanwhile they refuse to protect Autistic children from decades of genocidal violence.
I am an ex-child. Nobody protected me from Autphobic persecution. When will allistics make reels about my trauma?
I don't feel any of these.
#ActuallyAutistic
Everywhere I look, there is the neurocolonizer.
I can't even enjoy the natural world, because it reminds me of genocidal "science" and neuronormativity.
The psych industry: we care about Autistic suffering.
😭 Then why don't you care about me? Why can't you see me?
I'm the most invisible creature on the planet.
There is no NHS.
The NHS doesn't exist.
It's an urban legend.
I care about things being correct, and it appears nobody cares about it as much as I do.
I am alone in caring about this.
I can't enjoy my interests anymore because everything is embedded in this world of wrongness.
My neurocolonization is everywhere. I can't escape the oppressor. Even progressive Autistics spout the language of the neurocolonizer and worship diagnosis.
I'm tired of literally crying out into the void and still nobody giving me a proper process. I've been begging for years. Society refuses to recognise me. Society refuses to include me.
Utterly pointless, excluded alien.
I'm trapped in this world of wrongness and it's crushing me. The wrongness is everywhere.
And there's nothing meaningful for me on this planet. There's nothing to live for. No meaningful process. I'm so tired of being alive. I'm tired of crying.
Just had my 9th meltdown of the year because of the NHS ruining my process.
I'm tired of being trapped in this pointless world that doesn't understand me.
I've been through an entire NHS process and still not seen an autism expert. The NHS promised me an expert and a "healing process".
I also know many people on the autistic spectrum who are very sensitive to others, and very kind and polite in social settings. And I think it’s because they’ve had to give a lot of thought to interacting with people, and showing that they care.
Neurotypicals haven’t. They take it for granted.
if anything, Autism is my superfailure;
all my struggles lead to Autism.
... in retrospect it's devastating to discover that my Autistic struggle was completely invisible to the industry; there was no article on Autistic empathy, monotropism, burnout, inertia, sensory processing difficulties, etc.
The psych industry was useless until Autists educated them.
as a diligent Autistic in the early 2010s, I studied their entire archive as well as other Psychology publications to try to investigate my strange executive dysfunction;
they had a lot of Aspie nonsense, ToM nonsense, and Male Brain nonsense, but nothing on Autistic girls;
it's a funny paradox that Psychology Today is finally publishing an article on Autistic epistemic trauma when they spent 10 years of my life teaching me about the stereotype of Autism instead of real Autism,
they're one of the reasons I didn't fully realise I was Autistic until 2020
A big part of coming into yourself as an autistic adult is retaking one’s autonomy.
Trusting one’s self again.
ABA and refusing to recognise late discovered Autistic adults are two sides of the same genocide.
Wrongness is unacceptable.
Wrongness needs fixing.
I'm so tired of being trapped on this planet with no hope of escape (while I'm alive). I want an alien spaceship to take me home.
This world doesn't deserve Autistic people.
Allistics are selfish and ungrateful. They don't appreciate that human society is impossible without us. They don't deserve technology or medicine or an orderly society until they appreciate us.
#autism #ActuallyAutistic
this is one of my epistemic hauntings, it genuinely bothers me that autism is so obscured by cultural forces everywhere
It’s fascinating to sit in a room of 7 autistic people where only 1 knows they’re autistic and hear them explain their experience thru the various lenses which they used to make sense of the world (cults, reddit, et al).
When I say fascinating, I mean…sad.
Cos they’ll never think about autism.
A part of Autistic liberation is just waiting for all of the old bigots in the industry to [redacted].
I'm very impatient, and don't want to wait several decades for our liberation because I also have a time limit on this planet. Can they save us some time and STFU already?
I'm so excited for these old autism [redacted] to be [redacted, but I can say it's related to sleeping in soil].
It makes me so angry when NTs tell me to indiscriminately "respect experts", when they have no ability to discern between a bloviating professional and an actual specialist.
In Autistic culture you have to earn my respect by SHOWING expertise. Your fancy titles are worthless to me.
Meanwhile, as the patient or customer, I am always putting a massive amount of effort in.
My attention to detail, clear communication, punctuality, and intense monotropic focus never gets reciprocated.
I am relentlessy surprised and shocked at the apathy of neurotypical professionals in all fields.
They don't use capital letters, don't have reading comprehension or good vocab, lack punctuality, ghost me, don't have expertise in the thing they have a "degree" in, & don't follow plans or promises.
the NHS doesn't care about Autistic disability
