keats (the letter guy)

wild that typing opalite, the spray that solves problems, sprays the fans on tiktok. hilarious.

i meant they made a vagina. with their arms. just saying. gay.

what the fuck? appeal it. that is so rude.

the shot of taylor, domhnall and and lewis when he throws the glitter looks suspicious. gay.

i am not dying. however a week long illness, a car accident and a hundreds of dollars trip to the emergency vet will make me think i am dying, resulting in a 24 hour fever from hell. i swear i was begging for the old treatment last night at 2am. jesus h christ.

every song on tloas is a parallax.

today i will let myself feel all the feelings i am told to not have. tomorrow i will fight for hope and community and a better world once more. i don't know what else to do.

i wish i had a hopeful end to this rant. i don't. i woke up choking on the weight of it all. i have cried all morning. tomorrow i will go back to being hopeful and trying to find any small thing i can do to try and help. but today i cannot do it. today i am frozen and heartbroken and mad.

and i am autistic. i am so scared and so full of rage, and sometimes i cannot stop crying about it. and i see how it is all connected, how it feeds into each other. i see what burying our heads in the sand leads to. and i see how useless i am to all of it in the face of my poverty and disability.

i want to be hopeful. i want to fight. i want to be encouraging and helpful and strong. but i am also constantly being told i shouldn't be looking at all of it. that so much of it isn't here. it isn't me. it isn't a risk for my life. but it is. i am indigenous. i am disabled. i am queer. i am trans.

i cannot see gaza, sudan, congo, venezuela, ice raids, threats to greenland and canada, striping trans kids rights, notwithstanding clauses, denying the genocide of my own people, the billionaire problem, the growth and takeover of ai, all of it, everything, everywhere and just pretend it isn't.

i don't know how to reconcile with that. how to accept that the people in my life can bury their heads in the sand and pretend we don't know exactly what is happening, and pretend it could never happen here. i cannot keep talking stranger things and taylor swift and playing dnd all the time.

i have always felt the weight of the world, felt the horrors and the tragedy. maybe it is autism that makes me feel so much, or rather that stops my brain from lying about how bad it all is but as long as i can remember, i have been told that i am wrong for not being able to turn a blind eye.

they are denying our past, denying our people, claiming it is all made up. they are striping rights of trans folks. they are celebrating the moves of trump and his retinue. the US has a celebrity, he is not a secret. our trump wannabes are not so obvious. not so flashy. the worship him.

do i believe in conformitygate? no. i have been here for too long. am i having the time of my life with conformitygate? goddamn yes i am. especially as a performanceartlor.

i swear a huge part of the performance is using him to erase her. archer pose. the colour red. 't' initial. his jersey at the shows. he is erasing her and they are making it happen.

watching hunger games prequel and why can't we light a fucking nightime scene anymore? i have to google what happens in some of these scenes for fucks sake.

i wonder if the heated rivalry edits will make it easier when this is all declassified. if a hurt and angry gen pop swiftie will stumble upon one of their favorite edits and then it will all click. and they will realize what her songs were screaming before they could see them.

what if i told you the eras docuseries is just fifty in the cast zero misteps?

tily is real.

no but sincerely, they are going to smash their faces into unrecognizable messes before the ever realize they are genuinely running into the point over and over again.

i will repost every gay ass edit featuring a taylor song until she comes out. any fandom. any ship. any song.

thanks for hanging out with me guys. what an era. beautiful.

THE END CARDS ARE HILARIOUS

ending on happiness is criminal.

i'll never recover from cold calling the final mashup. goddamn.

never grow up and and the best day were picked for parent songs for my grad. i nominated them and no one offered other songs. so they were picked by default. the mashup always makes me cry.

two different things can be true at the same time.

and i'm crying. it's fine.

gotta get the iconic lesbian mashup in the lesbian flag dress. perfect.