WTFMahon

I love it when my fitness tracker thinks I took a nap and I was actually at work

Dark Pence is back.

I’m glad I still get to watch @maddow.msnbc.com every night but holy fuck it hasn’t been 100 days yet??

Brrrr

Squirrel
@wtfmahon.bsky.social
@sadlycatless.bsky.social
@bibicheret.bsky.social
@cakikeith.bsky.social
@seahag.bsky.social
@daiseydoesit.bsky.social
@preciosaliz.bsky.social

We are here

A painting of a bird next to the words"christ on a fucking bicycle what the fuck is this shit"

Squirrel loves a slice of apple.
But the peel?
Yeah… not eating that😄

For #SquirrelAppreciationDay
please take a moment
to recognize all the Squirrel Moms out there
who hang by their toenails
while maneuvering squirmy toddlers
like that’s just a regular thing Moms do😄

It’s #SquirrelAppreciationDay
so just thought everyone should know
when things are uncertain
Squirrel Toddlers hold hands🥹

me: sometimes i get so drunk i forget where i live

interviewer: that is not what i meant by warehouse experience

Uh oh

we have to re-normalize saying "who the fuck do you think you're talking to like that?"

The fact that Han Solo’s son’s name is Ben which is Hebrew for son just proves my theory that Han Solo’s full name is Hanukkah Solomon.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Tips For Preventing Package Theft An estimated 120 million packages are stolen every year. With holiday shopping in full swing,The Onion shares tips for preventing package theft.  Ask neighbors to keep an eye out for any packages they...

Get a dog so that any would-be thieves take the dog instead of your packages.

why is CNN sanewashing Trump’s threats to take over the world? and what the fuck is John Fetterman doing?

here's today's post: "why is CNN sanewashing Trump’s threats to take over the world?" — and what the fuck is John Fetterman doing?
thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter to keep getting the good stuff —

a colorful day of the dead skull with flowers on a black background . ALT: a colorful day of the dead skull with flowers on a black background .

When you do too much DMT and you think the

Machine
Elves
Really
Revere
You

#MakeMERRYanAcronym

#TurnMERRYintoAnAcronym making everyone real rowdy yesterday

a man dressed as santa claus is dancing in front of a car in the dark . ALT: a man dressed as santa claus is dancing in front of a car in the dark .

Most
Elves
Really
Resent
You.
#TurnMERRYintoAnAcronym

#TurnMERRYintoAnAcronym
My
Elvis
Robot
RULES
Y'all

AI is the most advanced technology we’ve seen in decades and I’m using it to create a picture of a squirrel eating a cannoli

I’m from New Jersey but I’ll eat at Olive Garden idgaf

I once survived a bear attack with only a bow in my hands but my friend wasn't as lucky and found it hard to run with an arrow in his knee.

With what? Sootikins from her wretched Hoo-hah?

First of all, I didn’t “karate chop” your baby. We were sparring

BOOOO!!! ☹️

this week in stupid: December 7 edition Donny mounts it, Chip Roy discounts it, and so much more...

it's Saturday, and it's time for "this week in stupid: December 7 edition" — Donny mounts it, Chip Roy discounts it, and so much more...
thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post —

I don’t take credit for this meme, but I do co-sign.

if you confirm me as Secretary of Defense, I promise to stop calling Trump "Little Donny Fuckface"

Ugh FINE I'll show up to work "sober" to lead the department of defense. YES without "sexually assaulting" everyone, christ anything else?