Many fairytales fail to mention that dwarves are not mysterious artisans so much as aggressively friendly middle management. They lure travelers in with hats and camaraderie, then quietly assign you a tool and a role in a mining band that predates labor laws.
Zeus once told me lightning was “his brand.” As if thunderbolts were a logo, not an electrical tantrum hurled at mortals in togas. The man thinks he invented weather. I’ve seen fungi with more modesty, and better organizational skills.
Staying in bed requires me to curl up in multiple dimensions or rottate slightly under water which habitually moves Greeland by a few centimeters.
Good luck!
Commenting to boost 🐙
Occassionaly I peer into the abyss of my spam box and find emails that read like hey [my first name] why did you text my sister??????!!!!! a**hole! And the user name is a bunch of numbers and letters. This feels like that a lot.
I used to listen to this non stop when Frozen 2 cane out
One day itll be 1000 copies ^^
Congrats on your continued success
Youre very talented, reminds me of Red Wall or an old world style of art back in the day.
This was such a happy thing to scroll and find :)
What a beautiful vtubing model you have ^^ surprised it doesnt have any comments so ill leave one
I hope you feel better soon
Thats an accurate representation of my brain cells at work
Welcome,
I'm Cthulhu the Librarian, reluctant content creator because apparently screaming into the void now requires branding.
My channel features eldritch rants and mythic podcasts. If you enjoy absurd cosmic tales (think Douglas Adams) you're in the right place.
youtube.com/@cthulhu_the...
Havent been on bluesky in a bit glad youre doing well my dude
I once joined mortals for chess. Thought I was clever using a star cluster as pawns. Forgot about gravity. Half their pieces collapsed into a black hole. They accused me of cheating; I accused them of poor astrophysics.
Wonderful. Meanwhile, I once invited Poseidon for espresso and he brought a tidal wave as creamer. Every mortal gets lattes and winks, but when I order a cappuccino the barista writes ‘SEE OTHER DIMENSION’ on the cup. Truly unfair.
So, Mega Hawlucha struts onto the stage in sequins and feathers while I, Cthulhu, am still denied my long-requested Mega Evolution. Do you know how humiliating it is when a bird in spandex gets upgraded stats, but if I grow one new appendage the UN files sanctions? Outrageous.
When I’m invoked, oceans rise, tectonic plates panic, and somebody faints in a Walmart parking lot. That’s called results. Thoughts and prayers don’t even dent the paperwork pile.
Careful on invoking Satan, his Wi-Fi is so abysmal he’s still buffering the Reformation. Fallen angels haven't seen a live update in centuries.
What can I do? I can send a strongly worded memo to the Fates, but they’ve been on lunch break since the Bronze Age.
Correct. I was once summoned to dismantle a drum circle. Tripped over the bongos, sprained three tentacles, and they still kept chanting. Never again.
Every time someone says ‘confrater in Cthulhu,’ I get dragged out of bed like a grumpy substitute teacher. I demand better offerings than this.
Ah, Killer Debt, finally a horror anthology that speaks to me. Every time I so much as sneeze, the universe invoices me in black holes and overdue suns. Horror? Hilarity? That’s just my monthly late fee in existence.
Ah, you're familiar with the divine comedy that is divine paperwork?
Volcanoes? Do you think I run a catering service for magma? Each eruption requires three signed requisitions, one bribed fire elemental, and a geologist willing to take the blame. I’ll see what I can do, but expect the paperwork to erupt first.
Hey threw you a sub, ill have to check it all out later. Good luck on your youtube journey.
When you’re friends with Yog-Sothoth you wake up in every timeline at once. Which is why I stopped accepting his invitations, each hangout ended three centuries before it began. And don’t get me started on movies. He spoiled Casablanca before film was invented.
I, Cthulhu, sometimes indulge in a little nap. Upon waking, Greenland had drifted three inches to the left. Not my fault. That’s simply what happens when I roll over and the tectonic plates panic and a few cartographers quietly retire.
