kip ikiprian

my partner went to bed early and now i miss them :(

applying for jobs im unqualified for is actually sooo fun especially when i ride so hard on my customer service experience and friendly demeanor. no, i am not familiar with QuickBooks, but i am Pure Of Heart

not to be dramatic but my cat just brought me his worm-on-a-string (wet) (chewed on) (sentimental) (and yucky) and dropped it on my pillow (wet) (from crying) (loser behavior) so i have no choice but to both live and die for him

time for me to do my dailies!! (opens Wordle, Duolingo, my antipsychotics)

number 1 most horrible thing my partner has done: come up to the bathroom door while i’m taking a shit to whisper “keep going! you can do it! i can hear every sound— you’re doing great!” i’m clogging this bitch in retribution

i want to cuddle and snuggle and snooze and doze and nap and slumber and dream and snore and drowse but instead i must Be In A Cubicle. fucking agony

A green cap with a long, yellow feather on it.

[throws my feathered cap to the ground] this is bullshit

the fact that my life is not funded by a series of fetch quests (for mushrooms, herbs, etc) taken off the town missive board is sooooo annoying

sighing and yearning when we’re already dating and have been for months. like some new, weird kinda whore

what happened to him 😭😭😭😭 i just finished my spanish lesson and now i gotta make plans to duolin-go to the wake???

A JORTS DEEP CUT

did u know that when u type “how much aquarium gravel can i eat lbs” into google, it’ll give u the number for poison control. fucking useless. i dont need my stomach pumped i need answers. i also need new gravel for my aquarium but thats unrelated

A jar of kimchi. Inside it is a pair of kitchen shears.

ah..

is it my adhd that lost the shears... or is it his adhd that can’t find them

A text conversation. At 1:47AM, the gray speech bubble asks: “where kitchen shears go.” At 8:13AM, the blue speech bubble replies: “idk.” At 11:55AM, gray says: “dang.” At 2:35PM, blue says “…… I don’t think I left them in the kimchi. but I am unmedicated as fuck. So I will check inside the kimchi jar when I get home”

just two roomies with matching adhd

All you newbies drawing their first comic and haven't printed their comic before: 300 dpi, CMYK colours, bleed and safety, 0 0 0 100 K black text on a separate layer. Make sure you have all of these on all of your comics files, otherwise you'll end up like me having to fix 660 pages of my webcomic

i think i wanna get more into papercut-style art

iOS update has turned my phone background unfixably black and I hate it. I picked that photo so lovingly. and now they are refusing to let me see my girlfriend. show her to me, Apple. Apple, show her to me.

A sleeping, medium-haired tuxedo cat scrunches up his face. The cameraperson is poking at his lip to check his teeth, mid-sunbeam nap. The cat is cute, and disgruntled.

local sunbeam boy very upset by surprise dental inspection

A tuxedo kitten with the biggest, roundest eyes in the world stares curiously at the camera while perched on top of a box branded by Chewy.

he looks like an ad for chewy 😭 someone please sponsor him 😭😭😭

i’d trust him with my ssn

what do I want? heh. not much :) I’m pretty humble! I just want to make everyone homemade gifts, for every occasion. and I don’t need much to do that :). now unrelated, but if anyone wants to buy me stained glass paints, wood burning tools, a glass carving dremel, a button press, a sewing machi

holy shit tem you are putting these guys into Jar Of So Many Emotions and SHAKING IT

hey gang, as it turns out, you’ve never failed at anything ever? like, I just looked it up, and you exist as a rich tapestry of skills taught by each second of your human experience?? and only the fear of embracing more experiences hinders growth?? and if it’s not this then it’s something better???

at 100k likes I’m dropping the birth certificate

dating someone who’s into astrology is so fun. the only thing they want this christmas is something I’ve never shared with anyone. it’s special. unique. (my personal government documents)

duolingo NEEDS an open chat lobby, how else am I gonna tell Brian over here to calm tf down. this is Obsidian League Day 3, okay, the fucking Vocab Video Game!! 4068 XP, fr??? go grind somewhere fulfilling, like minecraft, or the club

A cat stares directly into the camera with comedically wide, blown eyes and a very pink nose.

he’s since graduated to Creature That Eats My Fucking Hands but “best behaved” remains hung on the mantle

2021 a vet told me that Beetle was the “best behaved cat in the clinic” and I’ve been chasing that high ever since

please don’t confuse my zeal for christmas to be religiously or consumeristically based— i’m into it as an act of self preservation. I decorate with the same regretful desperation as an alcoholic war vet