Soggy Broccoli

made baby food with sweet potatoes and blueberries and it looks like i blended grimace

i’m seeing so many posts of billboards on here is this an inside joke i’ve missed by being on the other app?

spending the day on bsky instead of twitter and seeing all my fellow degenerates behaving slightly more hinged on here

are cronuts still a thing?

i have to address some demons (clean out my inbox)

he unplugged the site himself because the tesla stock memes were hurting his feelings too much

lol elon is having the worst day ever 🤗 i hope it gets worse 😊

finally finishing love is blind and man i said it day they left the pods, no one getting married in this hoe

that’s my secret sauce to make them fall in love

one time in college my friends and i got super baked and went to the grocery store and this cookie was making us go fucking crazy

twitters down so we are here to crop dust on your greener pasture

right there with you

baby proofed the house yesterday and thought this brand was called “calm yo tits”

started severance last night finally and can say with certainty my innie would be the most annoying fucking dork to ever exist

no i’m not okay, i just watched a “getting a lobotomy at claire’s” asmr

don’t hold my hand when you say it. out with it! say it with your chest!

the baby has once again requested i twist while nursing her, unaware this makes her cough on the milk. her addiction to both nourishment and comfort is her detriment and yet i attribute to her conflicting needs

this app feels like coming back from summer break but instead of vacation everyone went to court ordered therapy

no ducks december if i see one waddling by it’s on sight

just had the most intrusive lazy thought realizing i left my water bottle upstairs and needed to take my vitamins and just glanced at the wine on the counter

i want to be on here but it feels super weird still like everything’s too clean we need to make it a liiiiiitle dirty and nasty first

for halloween i’m gonna be 500 cigarettes

i think there will be a sex scene in the minecraft movie

some people deserve to inhale a feather or a string

If you see this, post an image you saved because it made you laugh

“It belongs in a museum!” oh does it? the big box where if you look into it your skin melts all off your head and your body turns into a skeleton? you think that would make a fun exhibit to put next to the gift shop? at our museum where kids go?

director’s cut? i sure hope so, i only watch films made by jacked hotties

they should make a batman movie where he’s a lego

the lonely stoner seems to get stoned alone a lot