Comandante Starkins

This is janss down the worse season of love is blind - don’t film in the midwest midwest people are chopped

Oh my God they announced it like when John Lennon got shot during Monday Night Football

Shakespeare standing in front of a chalkboard, considering what’s written. He raises his chalk and makes one change (obscured by his head, shot from behind). As music becomes audible, the camera swings around to show us that he’s changed “HAMNET” to “HAMLET”.

♫ WHAAAAT IIIII’VE DOOOOONE

*Post credit scene. Shakespeare walks into his bedroom and sees a mysterious man shrouded in shadows*

“So, you think you just wrote your BEST play?”

“How’d you get in here? Who’re you?

“Today’s your unlucky day. Call me MacBe-“

*William Shakespeare Will Return*

*Phil voice* Cmon Bam stop scorin’ points, Bam. I gotta work the mornin’

Johnny “The Limo Driver” Mundt

EXCLUSIVE: Photo of the doctor who gave Maxx Crosby his failed physical

I’m just surprised someone from Czechia would leave the lucrative business of human trafficking to play baseball.

Hazmat Guy: Star Tours, what are you doing here?!!

Bryce Harper: I just had all of the blood in my body cycled through a machine that cleans it. It cost $300,000. This will help me with baseball.

Ondřej Satoria: Eh, I just ehh… fix de light. I throw ball now, yes? *Smokes 8 eastern european cigarettes from an unmarked red pack at the same time*

probably was in the CD player of a car they scrapped. Tragedy. I thought the government had tracked down all of the copies

I’d recognize 125th & Amsterdam anywhere

I miss the “with” when I first read the sentence about your new bosses and figured well hey that’s one way to move up

she had to remove some load bearing drywall

EXCLUSIVE: First look at Donna Kelce’s new home renovations

This is what happens when your pitcher is always hanging out the passenger side of his best friends ride

Twitter is gonna be so good in 2029 when all of the Trump supporters are in concentration camps.

This is what happens when your pitcher is always hanging out the passenger side of his best friends ride

*Gamera fight song tune* Mr. Trump

The Israeli Cool Runnings remake would have a scene with Israeli Yul Brenner saying “I will be famous and live here” and then he shows a picture of a house a Palestinian family is already living in.

This show was never good. One of the most overhyped shows ever also fuck Whedon

they have something that would instantly destroy him forever. Even if the full unredacted Epstein files drops there’s still gonna be a group that says it’s a hoax, he can deny it etc. Israel has him dead to rights on something.

What’s crazy is that basically everyone just expects that Trump’s in the Epstein files and it’s probably really bad but it’s a given at this poit. Whatever Israel has on him is somehow worse than whatever’s in the files.

legit if I don’t get a new job i’m gonna kill myself this is draining my soul

They said “sir, we’re running out of ammo, sir.” I told them to punch the crates. I see Barron, he’s out of ammo and bing bing bing he punches a crate there’s ammo, there’s beautiful ammo and hearts. All the ammo is in the crates but we don’t punch the crates anymore.

I dunno you’re the AP just tell me

But at least Fetterman doesn’t hate WOC

Franzke: Even now they’re consolidating their power, Larry.

LA: I don’t care who’s consolidating power.

There should be a fan group at CBP called Ayatollah Razmada’s Cadre Of Phanatics