Defenestrator

Looks like Zabbix has a cloud offering, and pricing at a glance seems like "2009 plus Moore's Law improvements".

A bit of a nitpick, but probably a candela limit (lumen's total light output, candela is light intensity at a given point).
With exceptions for adaptive headlights, which I think are finally legal in the US now (or soon?)

Cloudflare's good, but it's worth noting that their registrar service is very much an add-on to the CDN and not standalone. So, for example, you basically have to use their authoritative DNS.

It might be closer than you think. At least, compared to a similar-size ICE. The general rule of thumb is that road damage goes up with the 4th power of axle weight. Of course, I don't see any extra taxes for 7,000lb pickups..

OK, I checked current pricing and maybe not. It used to be ~$20 for a tiny bottle, not $45+

If it keeps giving you trouble, Stabilant 22 might be worth a try. It's pricey, but it's basically magic connector juice that helps conduction over really short distances (like connectors that are mostly-touching) and insulates over any longer of a distance.