Reverend Lars 🌊

I love those pears but it's amazing how they all simultaneously go from crisp deliciousness to rotten, mush in the blink of an eye.

A Red Delicious doesn't stand a chance these days. I kinda feel bad for them. I mean, at least Granny Smiths still have the pie market. RD got nuthin' these days.

Eraserhead: The Musical

No jury of his peers would convict him.

By "peers," I mean a jury full of meth addled teenagers whose brains are saturated with strong hallucinogens and have a proclivity for making bad decisions.

The defense rests.

Plot twist. What if he really IS God? Gotta declare a mistrial, seems to me.

Honestly, would an occasional termite kill them?

If only there was some sort of prior, similar event to serve as a means of gauging the potential success of such a strategy...

Dogleg diplomacy. ⛳

That's exactly how I sterilize my zircon encrusted tweezers.

I bet that wretched footman, Barrow, is somehow mixed up in this.

Dip the pointy bits in rubbing alcohol or sterilize them with your lighter prior to pinning them on.

I'm a problem solver.

The stupid. It burns.

Which is perfectly normal. It's all a question of degree. 😐

Since I was a small child, I've accessed bluesky thusly. It's still the best way.

Clearly, they were flying on instruments.

He probably woke up in a cold sweat and headed straight for the keyboard. Had to get the poison out, ASAP.

But at least there are no rats there, eh? I mean, other than the bipedal variety.

Dogs are too smart for this DST nonsense.

Honestly, that's just sad. Specifically, sad for the ex-husband of the old client. Whatever the origins of his feelings, imagine letting them churn and fester in your mind for four years. Pathetic. Be glad you're not him.

Well, it's nice that his killers were respectful. I suppose we should expect as much in the City of Brotherly Love.

I feel more Canadian with each passing day.

In my mind, there will always be an asterisk next to that victory in Abu Dhabi. ✳️

a black and white photo of a man in a suit covering his face with his hands . Alt: a black and white photo of a man in a suit covering his face with his hands, expressing relief.

At first glance, I read "micro influencer" as "necromancer." Which sent my mind spinning off into terrible places. I'm so glad I double-checked.

A deep pool of stooges with a shallow, brackish gene pool.

They can wash and wash forever, they will never be clean. Just like Lady Macbeth, those bloodstains are permanent.

a dog is swimming in the ocean on a beach . ALT: a dog is swimming in the ocean on a beach .

Well, it is a month with an R in it.

I've never violated probation in my entire life, not even once. See, I'm trying to help you out here. Doing my part.

A statue of Fungie, the Dingle Dolphin, who delighted both tourists and locals for 37 years.

I hope you saw Fungie, the Dingle Dolphin! I loved Dingle, what cool little town.

I gradually realized that Pint's behavior was essentially his herding instinct being expressed. He was both herding and protecting me as I explored the island. In any case, it made for a memorable afternoon.

Oscar de la Hoya, posing as though he's ready to beat your ass.

Can I bring a friend? (He's kinda punchy...)