Exhausted Nation Lacks Strength To Form Opinion On Donald Glover Being Voice Of Yoshi
Exhausted Nation Lacks Strength To Form Opinion On Donald Glover Being Voice Of Yoshi https://theonion.com/exhausted-nation-lacks-strength-to-form-opinion-on-donald-glover-being-voice-of-yoshi/
BREAKING: Washington Post reports the Strategic Helium Reserve has been emptied. "ᵂᵉ'ʳᵉ ᵃˡˡ ᵛᵉʳʸ ᶜᵒⁿᶜᵉʳⁿᵉᵈ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᶦˢ" says Lt. Paloma Soredick, Trump's pick to supervise the reserve. "ᵂᵉ ʷᶦˡˡ ⁿᵒᵗ ʳᵉˢᵗ ᵘⁿᵗᶦˡ ʷᵉ ᶠᶦⁿᵈ ʷʰᵒ'ˢ ʳᵉˢᵖᵒⁿˢᶦᵇˡᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᵒˢˢ ᵒᶠ ᵒᵘʳ ʰᵉˡᶦᵘᵐ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵇʳᶦⁿᵍ ʰᶦᵐ ᵗᵒ ʲᵘˢᵗᶦᶜᵉ"
My answer that nobody likes:
“ADHD people are addicts, but not for drugs. Ask them how much unused yarn they have at home though.”
*guy who never heard of Gorillaz before* oh so they’re kind of like the california raisins?
It's always "have you considered medicating your ADHD" and never "thank you for the mentally-stimulating sentence structure"
I will not rest until I can order a burrito supreme in one of these.
fuck protein we fibermaxxing where's taco bell at we need to convince them to start offering the low carb fiber tortillas that have like 30 grams
was scheduled to have my gutters replaced today. after about 45 minutes i hadn’t heard anyone on our roof. glanced outside - they had gone to the wrong house and were about halfway through ripping off my neighbor’s gutters.
the only gamepad for me
Let’s put some BROCCOLI on that PLATE!!!
Asian aunties are something else because when my regular nail lady saw me after 3 weeks she was like “wow you look thinner!” And I had to tell her I was sick for almost a month
She deadass was like “so that’s why you look so good 👁️👄👁️”
This absolutely destroyed me just now
realistic kirby waving
back of realistic kirby waving
when your friends leave your house and you’re standing in the doorway like
fuckass horse why did the fog wall come up in this stable why is there another horse watching why is YOUR HEALTH BAR. SO. LONG.
Saw someone say “you guys need to stop wetting yourself you don’t have to learn Linux” and honestly speak for yourself.
Twin Peaks Logo Generator Turtle Power!
Updates at both our jobs today have me thinking, "Man, neither of us is even eligible to sell plasma."
But anyway, the U.S. economy is FINE, clearly.
There’s no more powerful musician than someone with like 20 delay pedals.
i'm teaming up with kalshi to pick up a car battery, angle it so that one of its corners is pointed at the ground, and drop it directly on my toenail
Comic. PERSON 1: I got 10,000 amp service and put each outlet on its own 500 amp breaker, so I never have to worry about overloading a circuit again! PERSON 2 with ponytail: Clever. PERSON 1: Oh, that reminds me–Do you know where to buy cords that don’t catch fire?
Amperage
xkcd.com/3211/
lotta y'all were never told "lurk moar" and it shows
“Boy kibble” is one of the hottest food trends on social media today. Fitness influencers are cooking up a simple combination of ground beef and rice for a quick, low-calorie hit. https://bit.ly/4aKn6FF
all-timer sports graphic dropped
Me (listening to the snail Snail in my ear telling me eat a 9am hotdog
the snail do be having good ideas tho
June 18, 2025. Masa. Northern Nigerian delicacy made from rice. Had lots of good masa while at NIPSS for my last sabbatical and wanted some. Best strategy for authenticity: make it myself. Dr. Gbemisola Abiola, my younger colleague who'd done fieldwork in Northern Nigeria helped. Turned out great.
🐈 #rikinyart
Waka from FFX would 100% support ICE until Lulu sat him down and explained everything to him in great detail.
