isla

yes. i carved a notch in the 12 o'clock position so i know the toilet seat is on an empty chamber, just like jack reacher does with his gun

dart’s new behavior in the morning to wake me up is to curl into my arm pit, and then start headbutting my boob repeatedly as if he’s trying to bounce it back and forth to alert me he needs breakfast

in utah you can only buy that at a store run by the government and it closes really early.

submitting bloodwork before i can hit order on a box of see's candy

i feel like there should be a requirement that my doctor approves any online purchases of candy or candy related items. feels like i'm really undoing his good work with the option to order pounds of chocolate at any time of the day.

what do you mean the coupon excludes 38DDD. next you'll tell me you don't carry women's shoes over a size ten.

finally understanding the concept of "hubris" after getting a breast augmentation and finding out that most sales/coupons don't include my size

a pound of york peppermint patties

[eyes glowing orange and emitting steam as the ignite.exe activates in my sinuses] can you be an adult and wear your linux rig on your forearm

they should abandon this idea for how disruptive it is and go with my proposal of a full benihana set up so that servers don't have to go back and forth between customers as much.

king baby

price of oil's high? time to invest in gooning futures

going from brick pack schwag as a kid to weed now having an expiration date is, sadly, the most successful progressive policy push in my life.

my chase owens custom figurine business has NO baring on my posts. i am not into serious debt, I am just passionate about the The Crown Jewel

just like at Cannes you give every chase owens match a nine minute standing ovation

concrete saw alert, concrete saw alert. I wonder if the guy holding the hose that’s keeping the giant concrete saw from overheating as it cuts into the street wishes he was manning the saw, or if he is happy with his station in life

watching every chase owens match because I support seeing someone employed

some people are saying on the internet, seasoning your pan is the trick but we disagree with this wholeheartedly. the real answer is rubbing salt into it for several minutes, which is not seasoning at all.

i really hate that "shadowbanned" got to the general lexicon because hellban is so much cooler sounding

[eyes glowing orange and emitting steam as the ignite.exe activates in my sinuses] can you be an adult and wear your linux rig on your forearm

if you know how to make this video as an amab, you are so fucking gay and trans that i am communally obligated to send you a care package with my spare estradiol vial and an enema

i don't think its malicious, its genuinely just people trying to figure out how to say it in the framing of it being an obvious transphobic and misogynistic conspiracy and sort of stumbling because of the pronoun discussion.

this regime is constantly doing DEI for people of closeted identity

its okay when discussing right wing psychos to say it in their terms which is, "they're trying to say she is a man" because that's how they see it and its okay to paint the disgusting people as saying disgusting things.

i think we do need to get a little annoying about pronouns because too many people are saying "transgender man" when discussing conspiracies about women in media/politics being secretly transgender. its a weird thing that its always said with a pause as they wrestle with it and say it the worst way

real demons would be peppering your TL with ads on thursdays when direct deposit hits, not the same shit every day.

why in god's name would you start a sale on a monday. people get their money wednesday - friday. you are not operating on a human timeline if you are trying to make a money farm. you must forget the calendars of man and business, and adjust your practices to the schedule of money.

its the day you finally fight back against evil. all this time, your grand conservative project of christian nationalism was so close but israel has captured the government and you've been betrayed. you must save america.

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CBS NEWS: iranian sleeper cell agent drives f350 into maralago

Bro just imagined Sisyphus happy ☠️☠️ (voice lowering 2 octaves) Lets Fuck His Ass

"When it comes to human dignity, we cannot make compromises to our ideation of exceptionally manicured pubic hair" - Angela Merkin