avery

everyone’s a freakazoid

the massage therapist i went to in january told me he would text me once he started accepting appointments again after his month of paternity leave but he never did and his calendar is open on his site so i’ve come to the obvious conclusion he hates me

every time my spam insta gets followed by a random arab man with a lot of pics posing in front of cars i dm him to ask him to take me away from all of this

my hand hurts bc of from where i cut it accidentally

you’re so lovely but ok i will stop

•_•

*looks at you*

it does somptimes

somptimes

this has been in my head for days

fine by me

that’s narsty bro

it’s cool how fencers say ‘on god’ before they fight

i wish you could auto block anyone who mutes you

all is calm in the eye of the potato

i was here first

it’s deadass gonna be me you and the dance floor

( ͡ ͡° ͜つ ͡͡° )

there’s a house on the corner of my street that smells like weed no matter the time of day and i respect the dedication

godspeed bro

got passed by the same car three times on the same block on my walk

lmao

that’s awesome

western teachers typically give their students a phrase to say in response to rising thoughts, like as a negation tool. i’ve spontaneously developed two over the past few months:
- meowing
- some variation of ‘i don’t want to ever think about that again’ or ‘don’t ever be mean to me again’

little miss muffet was a freakazoid

yo old king cole was merry as fuck

the nba should put a carpeted patch in a random spot on each side of the court and if you make it from there it’s four points

i’ve had a terrible day inside my mind 🙂

almost every place in the us sets their clock forward an hour in the spring and then back an hour in the fall. my state doesn’t bc it’s normal