Peter’s Spooky Shenanigans

Am I the only one who confuses the lyrics to “Say My Name” and “Bills, Bills, Bills” by Destiny’s Child?

“Pay my bills, pay my bills…”

Hands down, this is the WORST excuse for a movie, horror or otherwise. The acting is abysmal, the plot is stupid, the acting is horrendous, the camera work is abominable, and the acting is atrocious.

I’m only watching it because my gummy is kicking in, and I want to see just how bad this gets.

I know Patrick can be scary sometimes, but I don’t think qualifies this as a horror movie, Amazon.

I still get political text messages from Texas even though I haven’t lived there in almost 20 years.

When a Greg Abbott one shows up, I respond accordingly.

TIL that Neil Diamond originally wrote two songs that I thought were other artists:

Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon

Red Red Wine

NGL, I kinda want this CPAP mask even though the connection is in the front instead of on top of the head which I prefer. I just think the mask looks metal AF. 🤣

It boggles me that they’re trying to discredit some of the victims’ testimonies in the new file dump. Because they have a history of criminal behavior.

Sorry, but having endured sexual abuse in my adolescence, you wind up so fucked up that crime doesn’t seem so bad.

Target practice. Learning how to draw from holster.

Betty is a total beard.

I’ve been trying to get a playmate for Odyss, but he’s so selectively reactive that it’s difficult to do a meet and greet. The boxer from a former neighbor got his aggressive reaction, but after about 15 min, he was fine.

I’m at the point now where I wanna just tell a rescue that we have no dogs.

Excuse me, number 11??? 😳

You know what “compliment” annoys me like crazy?

“This is so good, you should open a restaurant.”

I like to cook, that doesn’t mean I want to be sweating over a stove all day.

Gym pro-tip, the lighter color your gym bottoms are, the easier it is to see your VPL/bulge/knuckle.

Just me and a big baby.

I’m not a goddamned lizard and this isn’t a terrarium. Turn that down. 😂

@cardsagainsthumanity.com makes me absolutely cackle with their descriptions on their Black Friday items:

Damn, every time I see a picture of Chuck from Stuff You Should Know, it makes me sad that he’s not gay. Total supporter of our community, but he’s one of my biggest straight crushes.

OMG, I picked up a bag of these new Hershey’s almond clusters at Costco this week, and they’re quite divine. Nicely roasted almonds, a decent hint of salt, chewy caramel…I’m gonna go grab one.

Amazon trying to tell me to reorder bator balm…how often do you think I tug it???

Goon with the Wind

Ah yes, the hoax with an email being put out there by…*checks notes* a Republican.

And we know she knows we know she’s lying.

Every man on this app drop a selfie, now! I mean, if you want. I’m not your real dad.

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

Nobody will ever convince me that Merry Muthafuckin’ Christmas by Eazy-E isn’t a holiday song.

I wanna dip that in a big ol’ bowl of gravy (or au jus) and devour it.

I’m very self conscious of when my shoes squeak or clomp when I walk. I feel so embarrassed.

Always confuses me when a patient insists on getting stuff like Tylenol and Benadryl dispensed as a prescription instead of just buying it over the counter, because they think it’s somehow better than what’s available on the shelf.

(I understand when their insurance pays for it.)

Die mad, fascists.

Odyss says that it’s finally time to start wearing hoodies again.