Vittoria

The entire UK today.

To those who’ve been off work since 19th December: I regret to inform you the dream is over. Work is back. Your leisure has been discontinued. The out-of-office has expired. The smugness must end. Reality has a Teams invite just for you.

One of my biggest worries is making new friends then going round for tea and discovering their house looks like this, and I’ll have to fake my own death to get out the friendship.

❗ Bin collection days are changing next week ❗

From Monday 5 January, waste and recycling collection days are changing for most households. Please check your new regular collection day on the online bin calendar so you don’t miss a collection: soton.cc/bincalendar

UK at Christmas

1/5. October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month. Domestic abuse isn’t just physical, it can be any threats, violence, controlling or coercive behaviour that takes place between family members, or between who people are, or have been, in a relationship.

You've just invalidated everything you said with the last sentence. Wally. 😂

Chloe Kelly kicked the ball harder than anyone in the Premier League last season. Just in case anyone still thinks the women’s game isn’t “as fast”. #Lionesses

hahahahahahahaha

MORNING. Today marks 20 years since Brian Harvey ran himself over after eating four tuna mayo jacket potatoes. NEVER FORGET.

I am obsessed.

My fav Italian word is FRANCOBOLLI, meaning stamps.

Happy Easter from Tuscany ❤️

People say I often remind them of Harry Styles. It’s probably the t-shirt I sometimes wear saying ‘don’t forget about Harry Styles’.

Katy Perry says "you never know love until the day of a launch"... Katy Perry has a child, everyone. #BlueOrigin

Sorting out our travel to Gatwick. And it may sound mental but we're just... paying for parking.

The neighbour was arrested yesterday because he had a knife on him and before anyone says anything, yes I carry a knife also but that's in case there's ever cake.

Me age 41

WHO KNEW?!

Actual girl dinner at work

My beauty lady had a man come in for waxing. Unnecessarily, he stripped TOTALLY NUDE for treatment, then proceeded to PURPOSELY fart, and then LAUGH at his farts, to the point she was so uncomfortable she walked out and no longer treats men. Men, this is why we fucking hate you.

I use it, but don't mind those who don 't.

OK let's do this. Oxford comma or no Oxford comma? Tell me.

Drone shot of bridge surrounded by buildings and industrial sites. Underneath the bridge is water. Image taken on a sunny day with clouds in the sky.

📣 From Monday, the Itchen Bridge toll charge will increase for non-Southampton residents

🪪 The toll charges will remain the same for Southampton residents with a SmartCities card

❌ For Southampton residents without a SmartCities card and non-Southampton residents, the tariffs will increase by 20p

🧹Spring cleaning this weekend? Remember, recycle your electricals! Check out RYEs' website and socials for tips and hints on how to get organised, how to donate or recycle and to find your nearest recycling point. 🌍 A win for you AND for the planet! www.recycleyourelectricals.org.uk?gad_source=1...

If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?

Mine are Andrew Tate, Laurence Fox, Joey Barton and Donald Trump, and they'd all be dead.

A national treasure.

One of the funniest things I've ever seen. Joe Wilkinson explains the RNLI and nobody is allowed to laugh. Best 2 mins of TV in a long while.

Neice and nephew have just gone up to put their pyjamas on and they're arguing James has come running down the stairs "LOUISE JUST CALLED ME A NATURAL DISASTER" and honestly I'm laughing so hard good one Lou.