Mason Johnson

Can't emphasize enough that this bears no resemblance to Pet Sematary, which is spelled differently.

Can someone tell @stephenking.bsky.social that we've got a seat saved for him at the last PET CEMETERY WITH A C THE MUSICAL show? Usually he responds when I call his pager. He must be traveling.

I like the idea of wondering about kissing at places.

Trying to get people to understand this has made up the past 5 or so years of my career. It's exhausting

😲😲😲😲

What if the Binny's Castle and Mars cheese castle went to war??

Good job laina

Conan O’Brien Found a Friend.

Canada's egg prices are much lower than America's thanks to stricter food and animal welfare rules. Meanwhile, in the US, our administration is getting rid of committees like the National Advisory Committee on Meat and Poultry Inspection.

The moment I see the words "healing" and "power" next to each other my brain just shuts down.

We're five years away from the 2030s, which seems made up. It's the made up science fiction times. It's the future and we've got nothing cool to show for it yet.

NYT push notification: Breaking News Gov. Gavin Newsom called trans athletes' presence in women's sports "deeply unfair," a position at odds with many Democrats.

Not sure this was worthy of a push notification, but NYT was clearly excited to be able to send it.

The thing that really sucks about the Gavin Newsom podcast thing where he repeatedly threw trans people under the bus is that it's all so calculated. He clearly went into it with the intention of saying something that would result in news stories being written about it.

Coworker posted this test headshot of me with the caption "YOU BOIZ LIKE THIN LIZZY???"

I needed an easy win so I'll take it.

Lived with an annoying "broken" toilet for a year. Upon further inspection, I just needed to tighten a single screw...

Tried to get into the L station with my work ID to the dismay of everyone behind me. Unrelated: forgot to take my pills today.

And anytime they do, it's views like, "trans people wanting to be treated like human beings" or "you shouldn't lose your life savings to get healthcare" that they're complaining about.

Funny how people never say what they mean by "extreme left."

And yet! Allow me to venture a queer/trans reading, one that posits Sue and Elisabeth are actually both different and the same person. When I started transitioning, a younger woman I had put on ice in my brain suddenly woke up and started pestering me. She hadn’t gotten to experience the joy of childhood, the boundary pushing of adolescence, or the fucking around and finding out of one’s 20s. She wanted those years back, but she was stuck with me: her weird, adult self who had spent all of those years doing her level best to offend precisely no one. It’s not as though I injected myself with a drug and had a younger, hotter version of me spit out of my back, but hormone replacement therapy does tend to make women—both trans and cis—look younger than their age, if only subtly. And the more I estrogenated myself, the more that girl in my brain was like, “When do I get to take the wheel?”

Wrote about why The Substance is trans and Emilia Perez isn't for Vanity Fair. Also argued that Woodworking (a novel by Emily St. James, out Tuesday) is basically The Substance.

Who is my Substance shadow self? It's Sabrina Carpenter. Thanks for asking.

www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/st...

I like when I'm on a clothing site and there's a button that reads "shop all men" ... like, yes, let's.

Hey Chicago, here's a dumb nonsense thing to go to on Saturday. I produce a variety show called movie club. This one's got a good lineup. Plus Eli Tea Bar is cool. www.instagram.com/p/DGgj6h-vbW...

🌞 Choose Your Side 🌝 New Meg Mag just dropped.

meganmaganzine.substack.com/p/early-bird...

You ever smell someone's BO and get uncomfortable with how much you like it? Not in a "you got good pheromones" way but in a "your sweat smells like pizza and now I'm hungry" way.

This seems like a joke but this is truly the vibe of Moby Dick.

Herman Melville's "Moby Dick" has perhaps the most memorable opening line in all of Western literature: "I hope you motherfuckers like reading about whales"

My soul exiting my body

OH

www.chicagobusiness.com/technology/c...

Lots of collaboration going on here 😑😑😑😑 www.wsj.com/tech/amazon-...

That's one way to drive employees away without having to deal with layoffs. This obviously isn't about "collaborating and brainstorming."

All these CEOs are wretched cowards.