Ridge 🇨🇦

My unpopular today will be my deleted tonight

Me: How much snow did you get last night? We got 8 or 10 inches

Electrician: That's what she said

Narrator: That sure as fuck is not what she said

save the bees, plant more trees, clean the seas, titties

Ever wonder if Mr. Coffee ever had any other career goals?

Yo people, why pick up kids from school if they have to go there again tomorrow?

i wish banksy would do a mural on the side of my house of me eating a muffin by a dumpster

I was born in the wrong decade or maybe it’s just the wrong pants. Either way, I feel out of place.

This was the White House's war plan:

Day #1 : Bomb

Day #2: Iran becomes a white Christian nationalist country

Day #3: Free gas

Day 4: Kid Rock concert/UFC fight broadcast from Tehran

So far, things are a bit off track

horror >me< sci-fi

Image from Twitter

“Fuck it.”

I have a Sheryl Crow song stuck in my head and I wasn’t even at the grocery store.

*pressing my ear to the asphalt*
A Blockbuster once stood here…

I got your March madness right here

I forget that I can say whatever I want here because nobody can read.

Don’t feed the ai, babe

new bluesky onboarding flow is weird ngl

the la croix is coming from inside the refrigerator

My three rabbits are named Philip, Seymour, and Hopman

Date idea: we both read our books together

revoking all reply guy licences

hey siri, put me down

My yard guy is here to aerate my lawn if you know what I mean and I hope you do because I sure don’t

can’t make it, i’ve got big plans to be bedmaxxing later

😎

You know when you plug your phone in all night, and you wake up and it’s not charged at all? That’s the best metaphor I’ve seen for getting older.

your mom's a hormuz

Humble apologies from all Canadians including myself, we let you down, won’t happen again 😢🇨🇦

Letterkenny (2016-2023)

Letterkenny (2016-2023)

Letterkenny (2016-2023)

Letterkenny (2016-2023)

Letterkenny (2016-2023)

I’ve found a new favorite. Very upset with my Canadian friends for not telling me about this hilarious show.
Do not skip intros!

“But it’s War Pigs,” I explain to my dog. “I promise I’ll get your cookie as soon as Iommi’s done shredding.”