John Avocado 宇杰

That slab of ham belongs on a menu, not a banknote.

If they're going to put animals on the banknotes, they could at least commission portraits of Harambe and Geronimo the alpaca.

I'm sure the aunties in the vestibule got a good laugh out of my terrible Chinese.

I used to log into my Chinese tutes on the train on the way home from work, but certainly wouldn't if I was driving – that opens up the new log-on location of a hospital bed.

It narrates all of my fleeting romances in Taipei lol

This was surprisingly easy but. Except maybe for Erotica and Bedtime Stories. I nearly picked "Get together" from Confessions too.

I struggled for Light Years (alt: Disco down), Fever (alt: Come ino my world, Dancefloor) and Disco (alt: Don't want to miss a thing, Supernova, Dance floor darling, Say something).

Absolutely not.

Me: DO NOT CALL ME "SIR" OR "MISTER" I HAVE A NAME, I AM NOT AN OBJECT.

Me when a guy I have a crush on calls me "mister" in the DMs: 👉🥺👈

"In good taste" is the key thing here. I don't think there are any special considerations beyond good taste even for the recently deceased. The instans you're dead, you stop existing, and all your affairs become other people's.

Sydney people hate two things: (1) all-stations trains and (2) changing trains, and they seem to think there is a possible rail network where they never have to change, but also their train never stops at a station they're not getting on or off at.

It's as if they have never played Transport Tycoon. Millennial nerds could have solved this by now. Lower some land, put in some buoys, a depot halfway along the canal, and Bob's your uncle. They're still stuck at the "bomb buildings" stage, but that does NOT go down well with the local authority.

Surely someone else has done this joke.

Who called them the Mandelson documents and not the Peter Files?

Dead people do not have rights. They cannot have rights because once they are dead they stop being people. They stop being anything. They stop existing. And things that do not exist cannot have rights.

Dead people don't exist. You don't need their consent for anything connected to them. That consent cannot exist. They cannot own anything. They cannot own intellectual property. They cannot own copyright or trade marks. You cannot steal from them.

Also way too many of you build your lives around gaining the respect of people who you don't know and who don't respect you anyway. Live your life, be free.

It's also, like, fun. So many people can't handle the idea that we like our boyfriends and that our relationships are not boring

So many straight women say that using "boyfriend" for a gay man's long-term boyfriend is childish and infantilising, but secretly they're scared of it because it's explicitly male (so explicitly gay) and explicitly sexual-romantic. It's homophobia buried really deep.

Yeah, I even told my parents the other week that other people's racism is saving me about a quarter of a million dollars.

Frequently on the streets of Parramatta.

Best song on each M People album:
Man smart
Love is in my soul
Precious pearl
Red flower sunset

Best song on each Goldfrapp album:
Lovely head
Tiptoe
Ride a white horse
Caravan girl
I wanna life
Clay
Moon in your mouth

The first time I went to Rotterdam, we were greeted with the Dutch version of an HSP, which was falafel with a slice of gouda on top.

Best song on each Kylie Minogue album:

Got to be certain
Never too late
Better the devil you know
Finer feelings
Confide in me
Breathe
Your disco needs you
Love affair
Slow
Like a drug
Everything is beautiful
Les sex
A lifetime to repair
Celebrate you
Tension

They still have offices in Sydney!

Best song on each Madonna album:

Borderline
Dress you up
Papa don't preach
Till death do us part
He's a man
Rain
Sanctuary
Skin
Paradise (not for me)
Nobody knows me
Isaac
Candy shop
Girl gone wild
Hold tight
God control

It's not homosexuality per se; it's the amyl that opens them up.

Do you mean cow muscle?

💯

Don't fall too far into vegetarian activism that you end up thinking labelling meat according to the part of the animal it comes from "sounds absurd" because you can absolutely go into a supermarket right now and see beef ribs, pork belly, lamb rump, chicken thighs etc etc.