Northern Illinois Transit Authority (Parody)

The gas shortage signature Ventra card is going to go so hard

Official government website of the Illinois General Assembly Welcome to the Official government website of the Illinois General Assembly

They’re trying to water down our beautiful People Over Parking Act! 😡

We won’t let that happen. 💪

Sign a witness slip IN OPPOSITION to HB 4588 today! 📮

Quote us with a ✅ when you’re done. 😇

ilga.gov/House/hearin...

Destroy Lake Shore Drive

The CTA doesn't know where the railcar is because they don't know where the railcar isn't. We will spare no expense to know where our railcars aren't so we can always know where our railcars are.

We're doing this

Wow, somebody should really get on fixing that

We should do this

a photo of Governor Pritzker holding up a white piece of paper on which text was generated: "you nita [need to] know that there are no more parking mandates around transit in Illinois"

JB with an important message

I'm a real agency!

SB 2111 is getting signed as-is by Governor Pritzker this morning in Chicago Union Station's Burlington Room! :D

Calumet
Bedford
Hanover
Schiller
Indian Head
La Grange
University
Deer
Evergreen
Forest (again)
Merrionette
Tinley
Stone
and Melrose

You may have noticed a change to UP-W service transitheads! The station of Villa Park has been renamed Villa in the Ventra app. We promised to build on this de-parkification, and are excited to share the following all new suburb names:

Forest
Highland
Oak
Franklin
Elmwood
Orland
Palos
Richton
Beach

we should do this

A billboard on the CTA green line tracks reads "You: Spending $36 to rideshare to brunch Also you: Why is my bank account so low? Save money. Do more. Ride CTA"set against a blue background with several mimosas

Got 'em

View out the window of a Metra train, looking at some track switches which are on fire.

Happy tracks-on-fire season to all those who celebrate!

talk to you later, my bus is pulling up

We're relieved to announce that starting in 2027, we'll be removing all numeric identifiers from all buses and railcars in favor of emoji designations. Can't wait to catch you all on the 😭😭😭😭 bus!

This better be included in SB2111

I don't know who needs to hear this, but it's time to move the frozen turkey to the radiator of the SD70MACH

This is how it feels to run a transit agency

I nita get sent to Pritzker

I nita take the train

That Metra innovation is old news, just try and take the UP-W on a weekend. We're happy to announce the 4 hour headway, coming to all lines in 2027!

The NCS will be realigned to run down the middle of runway 4L-22R. This will remind airline passengers of their place on the wheel of samsara.

As part of our commitment to flexible and dynamic transit to Chicagoans, we're currently in talks with major microtransit manufacturer and supplier, General Motors, who will help us realize the destruction of the Loop. Pardon our dust!

As part of our commitment to expanding bus service in the city of Chicago, we're going to be building an additional bus stop next to every current stop. We estimate that this will not impact travel time.

As part of our commitment to TOD, we're proud to announce an expansion of the Villa Park permit parking lot to the vacant land located at the southeast corner of Vermont and Ardmore. This lot will help us accomplish Chicagoland's climate change goals!

We're bringing back skip stop, this time with service patterns determined by the day of the week and lunar cycle. This change is intended to help riders be more in touch with natural cycles of the lake

Just getting things set up early folks, thanks to the lovely @evieatarax.bsky.social for the pfp.