Tim Onion

Italy beats the USA 8-6

the new york times post captioned “here are the suggested serving sizes of common household supplies that surprised us the most” with a photo of a glob of white goo in the palm of a hand

gotta be another way to do this

Excuse me fucking what???

hi i’m johnny knoxville and this is stand up paddle boarding the straight of hormuz

Heater being a perfect loaf (no feet) on my orange desk chair that she was scratched up and vomited on (it’s her favorite place bc it smells like mom)

AIPAC IS DROPPING $1 MILLION AGAINST US SO HEATER IS ASKING YOU TO JOIN OUR LIVESTREAM IN AN HOUR!!!

twitch.tv/katabughazaleh

youtube.com/@katmabu

man oh man Kat could do it

Northwest Georgia voters take the first step in finding Greene’s successor Seventeen candidates are on the ballot in Tuesday's all-party special election in northwest Georgia to pick a successor to Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene.

The polls are closed in Georgia’s 14th.

Don’t be surprised if Democrat Shawn Harris — a retired Army general who set Democratic voting records against MTG in 2024 — finishes as the top vote-getter.

The bigger question is who he will face in a runoff.

www.ajc.com/politics/202...

A week from today!

Abughamentum!!!

Yelling "SAFE!" so quickly is hilarious.

Just walked by a Waymo that is blocking at least 10 cars from leaving a parking garage (took this after I crossed the street) in downtown LA.

It’s parked directly in front of the garage exit. No one has any ability to move it. So an entire parking garage is getting backed by an empty car

I have decided to re-veil it. You're welcome everyone.

SXSW Austin
Sat, March 14th
6-10pm
anormalfuckingparty.splashthat.com

These are built to scale, btw.

If she's not winning, why is AIPAC acting like it?

Sometimes Two People Just Fall Out Of Cahoots Ending an important relationship is never easy. It’s always going to hurt, whether it was your decision or your partner’s. But that doesn’t mean anyone did anything wrong. Sometimes two people just fa...

Commentary: Sometimes Two People Just Fall Out Of Cahoots

Every day of life under Trump is waking up to a headline like, “Wyoming is missing”

Scoop: White House tells House Republicans to stop talking about mass deportations Blair delivered the message during a policy listening session with House Republicans at their annual retreat in Doral, Florida.

SCOOP: White House tells House Republicans to stop talking about mass deportations

Buttrock supremacy.

Is that DJ Rony Seikaly???

Fox News was on at the gym over the weekend and the chyron said "WOKE MAPPING" to refer to gerrymandering and honestly I've gotta hand it to them, it's been rattling around in my head like Beat It for 48 hours.

haha what the fuck bsky.app/profile/atru...

the onion newspaper is worth it for the ads

The Singularity is upon us: Apple's AI summarized a text message that read "I'm still down to clown if you are" to.... "clown event still possible."

Fuck ICE. Free Palestine. Vote Kat.

I'm not going to SXSW this year, but I went to this party last year and it was quite a lot of fun... so if you're in Austin, you should go.

This is funny.

YOU DID IT!! YOU SAVED HIM!!! LETS GOOOOOOOO

In the viral anti-porn app straight up jorking it, and by 'it' haha well I mean let's just say sensitive data about My peanits