Let me introduce you colonials to the Duckworth–Lewis–Stern method for deciding cricket scores in the event of rain.
I assume you all have training in advanced number theory? Of course you have, or you wouldn’t be wasting everyone’s time
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duckwor...
Your smile be creepy too, if someone was just about to pull your teeth out.
It’s like that Velvets’ song
First thing you learn is you’ve always gotta wait.
Long-time buddies Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols were out for a pleasant van drive in Oklahoma when, all of a sudden, their lives would change.
I’m not a believer in the Great Man theory of history, but I am increasingly a believer in the Stupid Man theory of history. It is much easier for one person to screw everything up than for one person to do great things on their own.
Yeah. Hitler and Stalin were not bright men and you can make the case they made much of the 20th Century.
What the name of the pub?
“The Bearded Twat”?
Thats’s precisely what’s it’s learned from the US.
Here’s a fun game you can play with maths.
Take the number of times Jesus condemned abortion in the Gospels and multiply it with the times he said homosexuality was a sin and you get how many fucks these assholes give about Jesus’ commitment to social justice.
It’s a scar. Tissue regrows around it, the skin over it heals a little, but it’s always there.
But if you never stop missing them, you also never stop loving them.
The danger in trying to do good is that the mind comes to confuse the intent of goodness with the act of doing things well.
That’s one of the best things about the Steam Deck.
No fucking Windows.
Who are the nicest people at the hospital?
The ultrasound guys.
A newspaper style block quote saying “I’m not one to complain usually but, I mean fucking hell. Come on”.
In the 90s, record company executives would try and list money spent on coke on their expense sheets as “fruit and flowers” for PR events.
Would explain Pete’s ultra aggressive nature.
The whole men think about sex eight times a minute is obviously nonsense, but I can tell you there’s not a day goes buy that straight man doesn’t think to himself, at least once a day, “Hmmm, nice tits!”.
it should be "masturbate in hell" but tragically it's "masturbate in heck!" in this version
My dad gave me £100 to take my uni corridor mates out for a curry to celebrate my birthday. I spent it all on magic mushrooms and went to see Keith Harris and Orville. I woke up in hospital with an injury that has scarred my face permanently. No idea what happened. Fesshole GOLD from 2nd January 2021
Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets on sale for Manchester, Hull, Glasgow, Luton & Cambridge. Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm, and Anon Opin hits Glasgow. Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
IMHO, one of the most entertaining ‘soccer’ commentators around, and that hurts coming from an Englishman, the mighty Zealand, giving us an insight into pure Brazilian league insanity
youtu.be/rV6TrK8XOEo?...
Adrian “my wife just happens to be editor of The Guardian” Chiles, to give him his official title.
In my house anyways.
Hope for the best, plan for the worst.
Free and fair elections are going to be their obvious next target, as they know they can’t win in a fair fight.
Don’t forget everything has to be air conditioned.
Yanks are like ladies, they hate sweating.
I used to think Bridge over Troubled Waters only had eight tracks on it, as the only version I ever heard til I was a teenager was the 8-track at the pub my parents went to at the weekend.
(We had to sit in the pub garden, eating crisps and listening to 8-tracks. The 1970s UK child experience)
A haunted looking man stares at himself in the mirror under the tagline “Did I just argue with a joke?”
Sounds like the reply guy needed this PSA
Damn, I forgot to make the annual post in honour of Richard Herring.
But just for tradition:
“Hey! What about International…oh November 19th? Thanks”
Would have definitely be safer with a bear
it would be pretty funny if a fuel crisis caused regime change in the US before it did in cuba
A fuel bowser at Oof servo, Plenty Rd, Kingsbury
Forget fuel prices soaring. Some servos are already out of fuel.
Only some e10 left and staff member has no idea when fuel will be delivered.
It’s here, now, today in Australia all thanks to fucking Yanks and Trump
The Iranian Red Crescent has sent a request to the International Criminal Court calling for a criminal investigation based on the US/Israel's systematic attacks against civilians and civilian objects including:
6,668 civilian structures
5,535 homes
14 hospitals
65 schools
Unfortunately our carriers have American planes, so we have to keep the Yanks sweet or they won’t give us any more software updates or spare parts.
