Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.
Go into a closet and suck eggs.
11.03.2026 03:40
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Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus,
Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent,
Criticize things you don't know about,
Be oblong and have your knees removed.
Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
Put a live chicken in your underwear,
11.03.2026 03:40
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Grandmother's Song
Be courteous, kind and forgiving,
Be gentle and peaceful each day,
Be warm and human and grateful,
And have a good thing to say.
Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike,
Be witty and happy and wise,
Be honest and love all your neighbors,
Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.
11.03.2026 03:40
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11.03.2026 00:27
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Dear Congress:
Why is the only solution to the Trump crisis a FUCKING TIME MACHINE?
Either invent one or find the balls to fucking DO something. NOW!
Love
The American People
11.03.2026 00:12
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No. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a.
11.03.2026 00:01
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10.03.2026 23:59
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I swear one of the "Telephone Men" is comedian John Oliver. But it must be some other pasty Brit. There's lots to choose from.
10.03.2026 21:25
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#BreakingKindSongs
#MusicChallenge
#MusicSky
March 1️⃣0️⃣ - Guest Host's Choice: Host John picks the prompt. ⤵️
A song about phones, phone calls, or anything related to telephones.
10.03.2026 21:19
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I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
-But today IS Tuesday.
Well. I didn't say WHICH Tuesday.
I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
-But today IS Tuesday.
Well. I didn't say WHICH Tuesday.
10.03.2026 21:15
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Thought you were going to say, "One that someone made for you from scratch" Those are always the best no matter what.
10.03.2026 20:54
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Gpa:
What is it you do for a living again, son?
Me:
Sometimes I get paid to make up a bunch of shit and put it on the internet.
Gpa: ...
Me: ...
Gpa: ...
Me: ...Everyone does it.
Gpa: And you went to school for how long?
10.03.2026 20:52
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10.03.2026 19:53
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10.03.2026 16:31
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10.03.2026 16:30
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10.03.2026 13:48
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10.03.2026 13:48
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10.03.2026 13:48
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10.03.2026 13:47
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Anyone know the order of the first five Rocky movies?
10.03.2026 02:11
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What's buzz'n, cuz'n?
Every human alive today is at least a 100th cousin. Obviously many of us are much, much closer.
What'd ya say we have us big 'ol family BBQ when cousin DJT dies?
Who coming?
09.03.2026 18:48
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Markwayne wasn't his first choice.
Someone talked him out of Nicki Minaj.
09.03.2026 15:03
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Read a few threads on here from people comparing their mental illness. Really? Mental Illness is NOT a fucking competition.
09.03.2026 14:53
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Friend: You two have been married for how long?
Her: 33 years.
Friend: Wow that's a long time. What's your secret?
Me: A great sense of humor.
Friend: Which one of you is funniest?
Me: [looks at her] Me.
Her: [Rolls eyes, shakes head] Gawwd NO!
09.03.2026 14:26
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Sheena Easton - Sugar Walls (Official Music Video)
YouTube video by Sheena Easton
Sheena Easton sings about female body parts in a song written by Prince. And we danced to this at High School.
09.03.2026 14:09
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Remember when Daniel-san beat up those kids in karate, then beat Satan in a blues guitar showdown, and then went back and beat up that other kid in karate again? That was AWESOME.
09.03.2026 14:06
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Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Relax (Official Video)
YouTube video by FGTHVEVO
Sage advice for the 16-year old.
I had the T-shirt.
Didn't everyone?
09.03.2026 13:56
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09.03.2026 13:47
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Jimmy cracked porn and I don't care
09.03.2026 01:34
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Damn. I was gonna use that hour we lost today to fix my life.
09.03.2026 00:37
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