LaZy James

Gonna step out for a sec. They gonna saw out the knees I was born with today, scrape out the gunk and put in new ones.
Ya'll keep being a bunch of little Fonzies.
I'll catch you on the flip.

Sex with Scorsese, beef with Sondheim … and inventing the moonwalk? The wildest moments in Liza Minnelli’s memoir From Peter Sellers dressing like a Nazi, to having to manage her mother Judy Garland’s addiction, jaws will drop at Minnelli’s anecdotes

Yes. She helped Michael Jackson develop the Moonwalk, which he lifted from dancers going back over 60 years. They were buds.

But we had that last week

Goddamnit somebody do something!

Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.

Go into a closet and suck eggs.

Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus,
Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent,
Criticize things you don't know about,
Be oblong and have your knees removed.

Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
Put a live chicken in your underwear,

Grandmother's Song

Be courteous, kind and forgiving,
Be gentle and peaceful each day,
Be warm and human and grateful,
And have a good thing to say.

Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike,
Be witty and happy and wise,
Be honest and love all your neighbors,
Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.

Dear Congress:

Why is the only solution to the Trump crisis a FUCKING TIME MACHINE?

Either invent one or find the balls to fucking DO something. NOW!

Love
The American People

No. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a.

I swear one of the "Telephone Men" is comedian John Oliver. But it must be some other pasty Brit. There's lots to choose from.

#BreakingKindSongs
#MusicChallenge
#MusicSky
March 1️⃣0️⃣ - Guest Host's Choice: Host John picks the prompt. ⤵️
A song about phones, phone calls, or anything related to telephones.

I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. -But today IS Tuesday. Well. I didn't say WHICH Tuesday.

I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
-But today IS Tuesday.
Well. I didn't say WHICH Tuesday.

Thought you were going to say, "One that someone made for you from scratch" Those are always the best no matter what.

Gpa:
What is it you do for a living again, son?

Me:
Sometimes I get paid to make up a bunch of shit and put it on the internet.

Gpa: ...
Me: ...
Gpa: ...
Me: ...Everyone does it.

Gpa: And you went to school for how long?