3. 'Shakti Rasa'
riverkenna.substack.com/p/shakti-rasa
Just realized I've now written a kind of trilogy of short poetic pieces that come directly from my inner world and the way my path unfolds
if you're curious what my inner life is like, or the flavor of my path, you could probably read all of them in like 10 minutes:
1. 'A Prayer'
2. 'I am the Dostoyevsky of Thyroid Disease'
riverkenna.substack.com/p/i-am-the-d...
Just realized I've now written a kind of trilogy of short poetic pieces that come directly from my inner world and the way my path unfolds
if you're curious what my inner life is like, or the flavor of my path, you could probably read all of them in like 10 minutes:
1. 'A Prayer'
I expect to die without knowing what this life was about
most big things i've done, i've done in flow, on instinct, and only much later found out why they were important -- i'll be surprised if the larger sweep of my life doesn't continue that pattern
I think when I land in Thailand, I’m gonna be under my high school weight. Jesus.
I’m currently wearing a shirt that’s too big on me, which last year was too tight to wear
And judging from how things look rn, I’m probably gonna lose at least another ten pounds before panchakarma is done
I have just been given some truly disgusting details about what vomit day will be like, and I am weirdly giddy about it in a “little boy who loves gross stuff” way
If god wanted me to drink cups of ghee, he would have put me in a hospital where they force me to — oh.
I have a podcast with my friend and imaginal practice teacher Rosa Lewis in which we're watching movies as if they are portals to a psychedelic and imaginal realm. In this last episode of Nouveau Shamanic Cinema we talk about her favorite ever movie: Moulin Rouge! open.spotify.com/episode/3M4n...
The impression I’m getting from the doctors faces today and yesterday is that my body is bad at panchakarma
I’ve read of other places where they have more space and activities to try and keep things bearable,, but here is a hospital, it’s pretty clinical
Not much, at this place. Most of the day is trying to keep myself occupied and avoid boredom
Chronic illness, Ayurveda, and getting my thyroid hormones back into a normal range. —I mostly don’t recommend my route, this year has been *rough*
You got this. We got this. (Oh god I ain’t got this)
Jesus I’ve lost like 50 pounds this year
I swear to god if my thyroid is not *pristine* after this,,
Panchakarma is insane, why did I just drink this much ghee?
All these terms (‘ideology, psychofauna, psychoflora, egregore, tilism’) point at the same basic topography;
roughly: "a constellation of psycho-cultural habits, reflexes, & complexes."
But each term highlights a new dynamic of how the complexes
I never thought I’d be so eager to get to Vomit Day
“We live in the future” — okay I’ll believe you when I see like 9000% more bioluminescent everything
I think I’m in the process of choosing the risky life
You can literally just water the seeds the gods planted in you,, it's free and no one can stop you and it'll transform your life and why is basically no one doing this?
“building god” is the kind of nonsense people babble about when they don’t trust themselves to do what we’re here for — embodying god