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stede zissou

@stedezissou

hello i'm K-K ° i write ofmd AUs ° Ohio USA 30s ☠️💙☠️ i love the hit television series our flag means death ☠️💜☠️ CartoonMayor on ao3 | zombee on tumblr

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18.09.2023
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Latest posts by stede zissou @stedezissou

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BEST CREW ON THE SEVEN SEAS

www.32auctions.com/fandommarket...

10.03.2026 03:26 👍 215 🔁 111 💬 4 📌 8

writing it currently!

09.03.2026 17:26 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
white text on a black background

"Summoned you…?”
“That’s right. I don’t just appear, obviously.”
Ed decided not to say, “Nothing about this is obvious, numbnuts.” He liked Stede too much already to be mean like the other pirates had been teaching him was normal.
“If you don’t mind?” Stede said, reaching out toward Ed. Ed’s nerves fizzled with alarm as he considered what to do. His feet decided for him, sliding cautiously toward Stede. Stede’s smile was small, but it felt fully genuine now. Ed took another sliding step, putting him in reach of Stede’s hand if he’d stretch it out to its full length. But Stede didn’t do that. He just waited patiently for Ed to be the one to get close enough to make contact.
The instant Stede’s fingertips brushed his jaw, glorious relief swept through Ed’s face. He moaned, plunking down on the crate next to Stede.
“Oh my fucking god,” Ed said. “Best curse ever.”
Stede frowned.
“Wait, no, shit, I don’t think you’re a curse—”
Stede waved his hand in the air. “Of course I’m a curse. But I should be gone now, if the bruises are what you needed help with.”

white text on a black background "Summoned you…?” “That’s right. I don’t just appear, obviously.” Ed decided not to say, “Nothing about this is obvious, numbnuts.” He liked Stede too much already to be mean like the other pirates had been teaching him was normal. “If you don’t mind?” Stede said, reaching out toward Ed. Ed’s nerves fizzled with alarm as he considered what to do. His feet decided for him, sliding cautiously toward Stede. Stede’s smile was small, but it felt fully genuine now. Ed took another sliding step, putting him in reach of Stede’s hand if he’d stretch it out to its full length. But Stede didn’t do that. He just waited patiently for Ed to be the one to get close enough to make contact. The instant Stede’s fingertips brushed his jaw, glorious relief swept through Ed’s face. He moaned, plunking down on the crate next to Stede. “Oh my fucking god,” Ed said. “Best curse ever.” Stede frowned. “Wait, no, shit, I don’t think you’re a curse—” Stede waved his hand in the air. “Of course I’m a curse. But I should be gone now, if the bruises are what you needed help with.”

started a new fic where Ed carries around a gold button that activates when he runs away to sea and Stede is inside like a genie.

i don't know either my dudes.

09.03.2026 14:45 👍 16 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0

i wasn't expecting it mid season 😭 it was so well done

28.02.2026 20:36 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

HEY BRIDGERTON SEASON FOUR EPISODE SIX WHAT THE FUCK

28.02.2026 14:51 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

lmaoooo there's some real filth in there too 😂

28.02.2026 14:51 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

omg i am so honored!!! the prince and the pirate is the last big fic i wrote for the fandom (still writing small ones) and it has a special place in my heart. even more special now 🥹

link is archiveofourown.org/works/522368... 🤴🏴‍☠️

28.02.2026 14:28 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

jedistormpilot my beloved

i ran that subreddit for a second lol

18.02.2026 01:27 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Ed Teach from the hit television series our flag means death looking like a sweet little kitty cat in the moonlight.

Ed Teach from the hit television series our flag means death looking like a sweet little kitty cat in the moonlight.

Stede Bonnet: the ultimate winner of the cat distribution system

16.02.2026 21:19 👍 91 🔁 21 💬 2 📌 0
stede looking tiny in the middle of a forest

stede looking tiny in the middle of a forest

actual footage of Stede in Ed's full bush (to scale)

16.02.2026 02:57 👍 51 🔁 10 💬 3 📌 0

he would!!!

16.02.2026 14:53 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

it's been in my drafts for over a year 😭 it's not the big burn in the desert (which based in your parenthetical I'm sure you understand lol) it's a smaller one based on my own experiences.

16.02.2026 14:50 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

the one where stede is accidentally given drugs at a festival and has a really good time

16.02.2026 14:13 👍 18 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0

Good morning

16.02.2026 07:57 👍 31 🔁 3 💬 4 📌 0

he's baba yaga hut shaped and we are feral for it

16.02.2026 04:39 👍 15 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 1
digital doodle of stede and ed right between the rows of seats, stede bending over with his belt unbuckled and ed fishing around the back of stede's pants. in the foreground there is an unfortunate onlooker at whom stede is snapping "DO YOU MIND?? a little privacy, please?"

digital doodle of stede and ed right between the rows of seats, stede bending over with his belt unbuckled and ed fishing around the back of stede's pants. in the foreground there is an unfortunate onlooker at whom stede is snapping "DO YOU MIND?? a little privacy, please?"

artist's rendition of the event

16.02.2026 00:20 👍 176 🔁 63 💬 15 📌 7
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12.02.2026 20:20 👍 80 🔁 22 💬 0 📌 0
Ed and Stede's heads from Our Flag Means Death badly photoshopped onto the shirtless bodies of the stars of Heated Rivalry. Text reads "SUCH A PERFECT SURPRISE" with the sub-heading "A Heated Rivalry Co-Stars AU"

Ed and Stede's heads from Our Flag Means Death badly photoshopped onto the shirtless bodies of the stars of Heated Rivalry. Text reads "SUCH A PERFECT SURPRISE" with the sub-heading "A Heated Rivalry Co-Stars AU"

such a perfect surprise - a Heated Rivalry co-stars Gentlebeard AU

rated E | 14k words

Ed Teach and Stede Bonnet are cast as the stars of a new Canadian gay hockey show. Is their chemistry as steamy off camera as onscreen?

archiveofourown.org/works/78865261

09.02.2026 15:31 👍 14 🔁 3 💬 2 📌 0
Ed and Stede's heads from Our Flag Means Death badly photoshopped onto the shirtless bodies of the stars of Heated Rivalry. Text reads "SUCH A PERFECT SURPRISE" with the sub-heading "A Heated Rivalry Co-Stars AU"

Ed and Stede's heads from Our Flag Means Death badly photoshopped onto the shirtless bodies of the stars of Heated Rivalry. Text reads "SUCH A PERFECT SURPRISE" with the sub-heading "A Heated Rivalry Co-Stars AU"

such a perfect surprise - a Heated Rivalry co-stars Gentlebeard AU

rated E | 14k words

Ed Teach and Stede Bonnet are cast as the stars of a new Canadian gay hockey show. Is their chemistry as steamy off camera as onscreen?

archiveofourown.org/works/78865261

09.02.2026 15:31 👍 14 🔁 3 💬 2 📌 0
the promo picture for the show Heated Rivalry. a vague blurry hockey stadium with sensual red and purple lighting is the background. the text reads "such a perfect surprise" with a sub-heading "A Heated Rivalry Co-Stars Our Flag Means Death AU." two men face off on the bottom of the image: the characters Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov with pictures of young Taika Waititi and Rhys Darby's faces photoshopped badly onto the originals.

the promo picture for the show Heated Rivalry. a vague blurry hockey stadium with sensual red and purple lighting is the background. the text reads "such a perfect surprise" with a sub-heading "A Heated Rivalry Co-Stars Our Flag Means Death AU." two men face off on the bottom of the image: the characters Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov with pictures of young Taika Waititi and Rhys Darby's faces photoshopped badly onto the originals.

such a perfect surprise - a Heated Rivalry co-stars Gentlebeard AU

rated E | 14k words

Ed Teach and Stede Bonnet are cast as the stars of the new gay hockey show Heated Rivalry. Is their chemistry as real as it seems onscreen?

🏒🍆🍑 archiveofourown.org/works/78865261

#ofmd #ofmdfic

04.02.2026 14:31 👍 25 🔁 7 💬 3 📌 0

graphic design is my passion 😌

04.02.2026 16:14 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I still cannot believe they put a cat bell on that man. True cinema

03.02.2026 22:02 👍 119 🔁 23 💬 2 📌 0
Black and white cartoon sketch of Stede and Ed from Our Flag Means Death. Ed is hooking his chin over Stede’s right shoulder from behind and  tenderly poking Stede’s left cheek. Stede is cradling the side ofmEd’s face with his left hand. They are both grinning at each other like two fools in love.

Black and white cartoon sketch of Stede and Ed from Our Flag Means Death. Ed is hooking his chin over Stede’s right shoulder from behind and tenderly poking Stede’s left cheek. Stede is cradling the side ofmEd’s face with his left hand. They are both grinning at each other like two fools in love.

*boop*
#OFMD #OFMDfanart

04.02.2026 13:21 👍 277 🔁 106 💬 20 📌 1

yeah i'm pretty much an expert at photoshop, why do you ask?

04.02.2026 14:37 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
the promo picture for the show Heated Rivalry. a vague blurry hockey stadium with sensual red and purple lighting is the background. the text reads "such a perfect surprise" with a sub-heading "A Heated Rivalry Co-Stars Our Flag Means Death AU." two men face off on the bottom of the image: the characters Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov with pictures of young Taika Waititi and Rhys Darby's faces photoshopped badly onto the originals.

the promo picture for the show Heated Rivalry. a vague blurry hockey stadium with sensual red and purple lighting is the background. the text reads "such a perfect surprise" with a sub-heading "A Heated Rivalry Co-Stars Our Flag Means Death AU." two men face off on the bottom of the image: the characters Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov with pictures of young Taika Waititi and Rhys Darby's faces photoshopped badly onto the originals.

such a perfect surprise - a Heated Rivalry co-stars Gentlebeard AU

rated E | 14k words

Ed Teach and Stede Bonnet are cast as the stars of the new gay hockey show Heated Rivalry. Is their chemistry as real as it seems onscreen?

🏒🍆🍑 archiveofourown.org/works/78865261

#ofmd #ofmdfic

04.02.2026 14:31 👍 25 🔁 7 💬 3 📌 0

at least they've finally had sex offscreen now 😭

28.01.2026 01:57 👍 11 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
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are you snowed in or barely snowing? looking for some cozy vibes? why not revisit the fic i wrote for @ghostalservice.bsky.social about Stede saving mailman Ed during a snowstorm

archiveofourown.org/works/45519415

25.01.2026 18:55 👍 20 🔁 7 💬 3 📌 2

🥰❄️💌

25.01.2026 19:08 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Post image

are you snowed in or barely snowing? looking for some cozy vibes? why not revisit the fic i wrote for @ghostalservice.bsky.social about Stede saving mailman Ed during a snowstorm

archiveofourown.org/works/45519415

25.01.2026 18:55 👍 20 🔁 7 💬 3 📌 2
“How many squats a day do you do for that ass?”
“Lots.” Stede leans forward in mock solemnity. Ed meets him in the middle, close enough their breaths mingle. “Can you keep a secret?” Ed nods. Stede says, “It’s been augmented.”
Ed bursts out laughing. “No shit?”
“Ed, I was convex. I’d never be hired for anything but playing a plank of wood without it.”
“Give me the name of your doctor, because holy shit.”
“Absolutely not. I’m keeping him all to myself. I went to Miami to get it done.”

“How many squats a day do you do for that ass?” “Lots.” Stede leans forward in mock solemnity. Ed meets him in the middle, close enough their breaths mingle. “Can you keep a secret?” Ed nods. Stede says, “It’s been augmented.” Ed bursts out laughing. “No shit?” “Ed, I was convex. I’d never be hired for anything but playing a plank of wood without it.” “Give me the name of your doctor, because holy shit.” “Absolutely not. I’m keeping him all to myself. I went to Miami to get it done.”

i had to acknowledge the elephant ass in the room

21.01.2026 05:03 👍 12 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0