Gelatin Bean 🏳️‍⚧️ ☔️

Me: I read this book, it’s stupid

Audiobook narrator: I am British

Me: WELL READ ON, STORYTELLER!

Ty bestie 😅

He’s perma-banned from all the Benjamin parties

Like me!

I want you to experience the world so part of me says YOOOOO GET IT but the smart part of me recognizes you would have a really bad time so I’m gonna go with please don’t.

Ohhhh I love it!

I have library books to pick up after work! 🥰

Luck!

Thank u thank u. But I think Rachel seems too unreliable, and Tom is suddenly looking really creepy. She’s remembering he tried to hit her with a golf club??? Tom and Anna are the murderers and trying to pin it in Ol Drinky Drink Rachel, probably.

Megan seems like a deep sea fish***

Also I’m 66% through Girl on the Train and Rachel seems unstable and Rachel seems like she’s a deep sea fish pretending to be a person

Today after work I need to call to get a car insurance quote and go to the dentist for a cleaning/consultation. And pick up meds. Lot of things.

Baby Bellas 🙂

Nope just lots of mushrooms! ☺️

Would you believe I don’t know one single thing about plumbing?

I’m sorry I came in and rerouted the water in your toilet or whatever. Do you not think it’s funny? 🥺

Mmmm I forgot Lost isn’t on Netflix and I don’t have Hulu right now. So I’m going with You! I love Penn but his character in this is so fucking scary. And I like the lady, idr what her name is but she was Anna in Once Upon a Time!

I watched a bit of it with my mom and she haaaaates Jack. But if there’s one person she hates more than Jack, it’s Kate. So when they are both onscreen together she’s like “OHHHHH good, LOOK who it is!! The Wonder Idiots!!!” “Mom you don’t have to watch if you hate it-“ “BUT I WANNA KNOW THE SECRET”

In episode one of lost, I think the weird metallic click sounds and shaking trees are mechasaurs. Btw I will be posting all my thoughts about Lost in this thread so please mute if you haven’t seen it and want to avoid spoilers! Although I will probably be wrong about almost everything.

i bet it feels so good to be a grocery store veggie when the little showers turn on

Hmmmm could it be this reality plz thank u

I had a dream that I was even manlier. Like I was suddenly way taller than my gf (WHO EXISTED) and I was strong enough to CARRY HER AROUND THE POKÉMON CARD TOURNAMENT THAT I WAS PART OF and at the end we got A BUNCH OF FREE CARDS. It was so fucking dope. I was the only one there with a gf lol

What if I saw a turtle outside

Me loving you: yes, you can put your cold feet on my warm toasty leggies when we snuggle.

I had a nightmare that I met Chappell Roan at my birthday party and she was mean to me so you CAN ALL REST EASY, I have HAD the Worst Nightmare. You are all safe. It already happened, it happened to me, and I only cried for twenty hours upon waking.

Ohhhhh I just wanna kick em

I would… my heart would die. Unless you possess true sentience in which case ROBOT FRIEND ROBOT FRIEND

If you got me with this, how my heart would LURCH with confused feelings 😳

Me, loving you: (bringing you little snacks and refilling your drinks and snuggling into your chest)