Chris

I use oat milk for my oatmeal and it just tickles me pink that im cooking oats in liquid oats.

Gonna go scream into the void to see if it solves all my problems brb

Them: “Ugh do I need to spell it out for you?”
Me, neurodivergent, utterly incapable of reading in between the lines: “Omg PLEASE.”

Kids will be like “I’m full,” but what they really mean is “I’m bored of eating my food.”

a man in a green jacket is talking to another man in a grey jacket ALT: a man in a green jacket is talking to another man in a grey jacket

Next time I make eye contact with someone through the crack in the bathroom stall, I’m doubling down.

Went to the bathroom after a restaurant visit and a dude runs into a stall and immediately starts like…talking himself up. Like bro stop.

Didn't....didn't they have to purchase that Tesla to do this video?

This is my dog Reese in her first appearance as…

The Reese-ter Bunny.

Yea, this is legit. BRB sending my social.

Conjuring 2 is a Christmas movie confirmed.

I need to re-read all of the Cosmere books 😂. I JUST started the Stormlight series last year (got to basically read straight through the 5 books in one go), and I’m noticing that I missed a TON in the other Cosmere books!

WASN’T IT INCREDIBLE?! Sanderson truly is the GOAT.

3YO was sobbing.

Me: “3YO, what happened?”
3YO: “I fell on my body!”

#parenting #toddlers

ARE YOU DONE YET

🪦

dwight schrute from the office is wearing glasses and a suit and tie . ALT: dwight schrute from the office is wearing glasses and a suit and tie .

When you FINALLY notice a difference after weeks of working out. #lifting

I’m getting real sick and tired of getting fucking screeched at for literally just trying to save these people’s lives. #parenting

Yes! Last month I think. I loved it so much.

Same, I don’t understand the hype. Granted, I still don’t understand the iPad hype, so maybe take my opinions with a grain (or several) of salt.

Where are you?? DM me if you wanna keep spoilers unpublic!

🪦

Very impressed ❤️

Can’t stop yawning please send help

a woman is sitting at a table with her hands folded in front of her . ALT: a woman is sitting at a table with her hands folded in front of her .

That bookshelf tho

3YO played in the mud for a full hour and then lost his SHIT when he realized he was muddy. Like bruh.

Just watched Dr. Sleep and can I just say I love @stephenking.bsky.social so much

a woman is looking at a chalkboard with mathematical equations on it . ALT: a woman is looking at a chalkboard with mathematical equations on it .

Me, 12 years into marriage, still trying to figure out how I landed my wifey.

Ok real talk: I know the lyrics to Weird Al’s renditions of Piano Man and American Pie and I have NO clue what the lyrics to the originals are.

This looks awesome. Wishlisted!