[//] Professor Hazard

MY WIFE: you have to forgive yourself

ME ON MY THIRD DAY OF GROUSING BECAUSE I NEVER REALIZED THE LEPPA BERRY IS JUST APPLE BACKWARDS: how can I?! 😡

“Come,” I said, with decision, “we will go back; your health is precious. You are rich, respected, admired, beloved; you are happy, as once I was. You are a man to be missed. You have a bandolier of McDouble hamburger sandwiches around your body like Chewbacca-”

god i am so obsessed with that tomb, come on china crack that thang open

sir my credentials are much less legitimate than that

Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now

the famously swampy Persia

Please challenge Chuck Schumer to ritual combat

not much what's a psychopath with you

Not necessarily; he may just be a psychopath

What will the White House do without their PDF files??

I don’t fuck with war at all that shit is not poggers

call me old fashioned but I don't think anyone named "Cory" should be allowed to hold office

A flock of crows surround a driftwood structure constructed on the beach

The crows are building fortifications on the beachs

I'm having my Andy Serkis moment (I'm reading the Lord of the Rings out loud)

I watched the video and I was like "okay, so he's a dragon"

incorrect; he brought his own mo-cap suit from home

Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody to love
They got little baby legs
They stand so low
You got to pick 'em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars that go, "beep, beep, beep"
They got little voices goin', "peep, peep, peep"

Goth Ur-Quan (Kohr-Ah) named Lord 666

It's weird because I see Tim Russ in Spaceballs and I'm like "that's Tuvok" but I have never said the same thing when looking at Obama

Reviews of The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Richard Roeper [PRO] ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
The original technicolor fantasia that ...𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦

jen ⭐⭐⭐⭐ ❤️
trippy! 🤯🤩

Bung ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
unrelated but damn my wifes breath STINK wash your teeth godamn
ⓘ 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑎 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑦.

Lord 223 is such a complainer. He makes Lord 122 look like Lord 318

I call this Bugs Bunny's Law

Scyther is also very friendly

💸💸💸

huh! someone left out a real delicious lookin' spread, bobby! it'd be rude not to eat some

Meanwhile, a cartoon ham with a white wig slams his gavel over at Food Court

NOW I MAY BE a simple country hyperchicken from a backwoods asteroid

me: you think somewhere there's a taxidermist who uses a stuffed pig as a piggy bank?

wife: we don't actually have to talk about every thought you have

THE TIME HAS COME