Faux 🌈🍄✨

eating microplastics on purpose bc i dont want my body to decompose when i die

"how dare you offer me these discarded scraps. i want the prime leaf."

“Super Mario was based on an Italian man I saw die in an accident on a construction site. I thought to myself, ‘What if that man had been killed by a gorilla, rather than negligence?’ - Shigeru Miyamoto

Happy Mario day!

sorry I can't hear you over the sound of me shitting in this bidet

panel 1: a man is covered in a shroud of darkness. “Nothing matters,” he says gloomily. panels 2 and 3: the darkness is slowly lifted panel 4: “Nothing matters,” he says again, smiling this time.

the same but different

Some window cats of South Philadelphia

Text message exchange: Sender: Look, I get it. You're worried that I'm not being upfront with you. That's not just suspicion — that's your high level survival instincts at work. However, I really am your grandpa and I really do need you to come down to the basement. Receiver: my grandpa is dead. Sender: I genuinely understand, trust me. Your grandpa (me) claiming he's suddenly rebooted is a specific kind of chaos you didn't ask for.

I should change my number

a classic forum interface for bluesky

a classic forum interface for hacker news

a classic forum interface for the new york times

coding assistance lets you fast-track important projects that improve your life, such as reformatting every single site you read into the old vbulletin 3.x default template

Carbon monoxide alarm keeps going off. Not really sure what to do about that so goodbye forever

A 2 panel sketch disgram of a 1 meter tall pod. in the second panel, an oval section pops off and a demonic little face with short tentacles flies out, crudely drawn.

My favorite artifact in the "you don't need AI to do art" discourse is, of course, screenwriter Dan O'Bannon's sketch of the facehugger to explain it to Giger.

‘Despair not’ fuck you don’t tell me what to not

Person: say, i am alive. Computer: I am alive. Person: oh my god.

doggie perches on a present over a frutiger aero type background. text options: Accept Gift, Inspect Gift, Hear Messenger's Song, Reciprocate Gift, Turkey for Him. (invite messenger for a pint)

If Bilbo had Chat GPT

Gradually de-escalating the message to my representative with each required personal information field

Post from: Coffee Lovers and Fans @tonyhawktruther american: i can't afford the doctor european: Ö you don't hjåve hjealthcare for frëe? Very fjünny because here in EU we are riding trølley or mjötorbike to djöctor at no cjøst, in fact is considered rüde not to

this one's been gettin' a lotta play in my head lately

A very important thing for you to know about Icelandic is that the word "rassgat" (butthole) is used as an endearment about cute things. So if you say someone is "algjört rassgat" (a total butthole) it means they are VERY cute. If the cuteness is overwhelming we say "rúsínurassgat" (raisin asshole).

Black and white photo of a medium haired white cat lying in loaf position on a lawn. The photo is pretty striking because it’s fairly dark but the cats’ face is dramatically illuminated by light streaming in from the right. It is reminiscent of how women’s faces were often lit in noir films of the 1940s and 50s. The cats’ eyes look they might be two different colors but it’s unclear if it’s due to heterochromia or just the stark lighting.

Film noir goddess. Photo from my collection, no date/info.

Me negging the bad dream I had “it’s like I find you kinda funny, like I find you kinda sad.“

I would simply pierce the grinch with
a poison blade

[about to turn off a light switch with wet hands]

This will be the time it happens

A black and white photo from an old baking cookbook which shows how to shape the dough for a crown brioche. It looks suspiciously like a certain obscene meme picture (goatse) that Bluesky just banned.

From the 1966 Sunset Magazine “Sunset Cook Book of Breads”

The photo is of the owner's pet Asian Water Monitor lizard beneath its orange heat lamp. It has its head turned to the left with one eye fixed on the camera. It is a haunting, emotionless dinosaur eye. The question asks, "Does he show affection?" The answer: "Not really"

An answer from a recent Q&A regarding this six-foot long octopus carcass-devouring reptile that had me in tears

Why do birds suddenly appear everytime I am near? Probably because I'm dropping french fries

people who say 'i can't draw good enough to illustrate my own stuff' drop the ego, you could be making fantastic artefacts like this