felix, better when silent

516 words in tonight's sprint, and established terrifying new canon for boats

sometimes i just really enjoy writing, even more than usual

It's hard to put into words how much of a difference you can make to someone's day simply by reading a story they wrote, sharing it, and telling them that you liked it. Not only is the reading itself a worthwhile pleasure, it's also just a wonderful gift. It's so worth doing

thankful for the small (slightly wider lately) circle of friends i have who are willing to not only preread but go 'actually this is not bad, i like this, maybe you should temper the self-criticism bc it's not helping you'

maybe i'll post some of it eventually

if you're transitioning does that mean you get a rude tag

#VoidStranger

i really wanna stay in my warm comfy bed and not move or think about anything besides writing

but it's shot day and there's dishes in the sink and other cleaning to do too

if i could just take a single day off from being an adult without everything falling apart (like meals) it would be paradise

i've got four unrelated storylines occupying my head at various times with various priority-weighting and tbh it's frustrating how difficult it is to just lock in and push one of them all the way to completion. i'm going where inspiration leads but i really wanna finish and post something too

558 words in sprint tonight. as unsubtle an egg as i've ever written, probably because i'm doing it consciously this time instead of just letting my own issues leak into the story

whether that makes for a better story has yet to be determined. this one's nowhere near finished. hardly started

it still beats not writing anything at all, though; i should note that much at least. a coping mechanism, if you will

i have this thing where i'm often unsure how i want to start a story or project so i just throw some stuff down wildly or start mid-sentence or in media res where things are a bit confused

it's become something of a habit lately and editing the draft has become oddly bothersome as a result

A portion of the end of mission screen from Warframe, showing the receipt of 31 Orokin Cells. That's slightly more than three tens. And that's wonderful.

blessings upon the tenno this morning who know how to run a proper farm in steel path, i think i'm actually good for a bit now

498 words in today's writing sprint, half an hour later than usual after crashing out into weird dreams due to taking migraine meds after a hasty dinner and laying down 'just for a bit' whoops there goes several hours

all that and dst is tomorrow apparently? it just keeps happening

there's so much bad in the world but there's also people who lift up and carry an elderly bat around every day so he can pretend he's flying again, and that's the part of the world I think is worth fighting for

1920 words

today is a good day to write some self-indulgent smut. let's see if i can actually do it instead of getting distracted again by a thousand tiny things

9: void stranger is basically just a sokoban game. :) it's also the reason i bothered with warframe again, because it taught me i can still be good at games - and have fun with them - even if i have physical problems. i could say much, much more, but

i won't

8: beat saber is the reason i have a vr setup at all. it's a nice way to do cardio in any weather, and also it involves music and that helps me not be abjectly miserable. i should play it more, i've fallen off lately. but vr is always good headspace for me, and beat saber is sheer euphoria

-it's still passable, and at its best it is transcendent. the game goes in cycles though, and once the main content is over, i find the grindy bits pretty intolerable. so i think it'll probably always be on and off again, now that i no longer try to do savage raids when i shouldn't

-out of love with the game. there's so much to love, as a long-time ff fan; just about every other game has made an appearance in it by now, i think. the music is of course excellent, remixes of old familiar tunes and fresh red-hot tracks alike. the writing varies somewhat but even at its worst-

7: i wasn't there for the original launch of xiv. i maybe could have been, but i had mostly fallen out of love with the ff series by that point (thanks mostly to wow, i think). but someone eventually dragged me back in for realm reborn and i've been playing off and on ever since as i fall in and-

there's nothing so precious to me as wf's aesthetic of 'just put on a different body. just wear someone else. that's you now.' the incredible power of normalized transhumanism, not in some gross corpo/mil setting, but here, where you're (arguably) a hero- it tastes so good. i wish it was real

-recently, very carefully because of wrist damage from the nightmare dimension, and although i can't handle the parkour for very long, i love it just as much as i did then. maybe even more, in fact. the writing continues to impress, the music is incredible, the -songs-, it's just so good

6: warframe, though. this i love so much that i got the founder pack while it was still beta, before all the cool stuff that's packed into it now even existed. for a while, spending money on this entirely free game was my one vice, though i don't really do that any more. i came back to it just-

there's so much i could say about eve, about the lessons in human behavior, but the most important thing of all would be: don't start

-which is how you get ungodly large fleet fights that lag whatever node you're on. which is a kind of cool, but also miserable to slog through, even if you're on the winning side

also some absolutely rancid people played it and i didn't even know until they got exposed and i wanted to scream

-want to be profitable or effective, requires the most mind-numbingly awful levels of optimization. like multiboxing entire fleets of ships. and if you don't, you die (or lose at market) to the people who do. there are ways around this, sort of, but it's really always just 'bring more people'-

-wow, but that's offset by how much time of that is in menus and spinning my ship in the hangar listlessly. and it sucks, because eve is in theory a really cool game - it's in space, players have an effect on the geography, there's all sorts of weird lore - but actually playing the game, if you-

5: speaking of awful baggage. eve online is a game i honestly wish i could un-play, because i realize now that all the time i spent in it went toward enriching the sort of people who think a libertarian paradise is actually the ideal form of existence. it's possible i spent more time in it than-

it feels maybe a bit unfair to leave it at that. i still have a few friends who currently play wow, who have their social circles, who enjoy it, and who also have lives outside it as well. and getting into the actual world, exploring it, was fun! it just came with a lot of awful baggage

-couldn't come up with a satisfactory answer. halfway through cataclysm at the time. quit on the spot and never* looked back. there were a few fun memories there but so much of it was just a painful slog to get to the maybe-fun parts. so really the influence here was how much time it consumed