Garrett Manley

I don't think streaming platforms could allow you to access the Christmas episodes outside of December.

I want to buy a run down old mall and release a bunch of monkeys into it.

This is not a business proposal.

I'm either hallucinating, or my neighbors are currently trying to conduct a song on their microwave

Out of "Cookie Crisp" cereal for breakfast?

Pro tip: eating fresh baked cookies with a glass of milk will satisfy that same wholesome breakfast craving.

I think the dollar tree should sell loosies

I'm big mad that my company's town hall doesn't allow chat for the 3k folks on this call right now. I've got banter to start.

Help, I can't stop eating mango.

Frozen bags of mango chunks, dried mango, and mango kombucha have all become daily parts of my diet and I can't stop.

Why does the inside of every girl's purse look like there might be a heroin needle in there?

i just don’t get this idea that us millennial shitposters on Bluesky are doing it in a desperate attempt to look cool to an audience of Gen Zers

we’re very much doing all this lame shitposting for *each other*

and that’s beautiful in its way

Homemade pizza topped with pepperoni

🤌

Why do I constantly feel the primal urge to make pizza?

Update, they still don't have my meds and it's not going well.

Y'all been sleeping on lightly microwaved garlic

The fact that I couldn't even get this information confirmed until after I ran out of meds is just insane to me, like this whole process needs to be reengineered from the ground up.

I just called 5 pharmacies for my meds and they're all out of stock, and 2 couldn't even tell me if they had it or not. Fuck the DEA, I'm just trying to get my shit together.

hearing the Teams ping from my work computer while i'm on the toilet is never not going to be terror inducing

Asteroid City was an absolute treat, go see it in a theater, and don't go sober. Might be Jeff Goldblum's greatest performance.

what an incredible coincidence that your website broke exactly one day after refusing to pay the billion dollar bill you owed

Fuck, I've been doing it wrong this whole time...

I wish I knew how to read!

Bad boi could soothe so many crispy white people

Is it legal to let spiders loose in my apartment to deal with the files in one of the entrance ways?

Got another promotion at work yesterday. Am now a Technical Architect. They keep telling me I'm already doing the work that the promotion is for, and at this point I feel like I'm not slacking off enough.

Poll: Which of my domains should I use for my account here?

I'm gonna get so much more unhinged here.