They need to remake Up In the Air. Only instead of George Clooney being afraid the internet is gonna take his frequent flyer miles, it’s coders afraid AI will make them spend more time touching grass.
What does an alligator bite in the USA, a workplace incident in India, and an initiation ceremony in Japan all have in common? Someone is losing a pinky.
A true gangster never kisses and cartells
#LinkedIn prays on the jobless like #Facebook prays on self-conscious teenagers.
Bro my butthole has been pussified since getting a bidet. If I don’t have it I need that quintuple ply with the bears on it or my bungholes buggered
#Tushy
Kyrsten Sinema missed a real campaign opportunity by not walking onto every stage to the Benny Benassi song Cinema
I’m gonna start experimenting with #Claude. I’m Cla-curious, but I’ll never be a full on Clausbian
Bro, how is China so good at making walls? youtu.be/Rr92lPv338U?...
Man here’s the thing. If Minions evolved from single celled organisms to serve the most despicable creature out there, what were they REALLY doing during WWII? Because we had Nazis exploring both poles and there’s no shot they missed something like that. Just food for thought
The golden RATio
What does a college sports victory, a bedbug infestation, and a vice presidential visit have in common? Someone is losing a couch.
This high fiber, high protein, probiotic rich diet is changing the landscape of my colon generations
Guys will be like “I financed my $10k Temu tiny home with Klarna so I could afford a $115k CUMMINS 2500”
Listen y’all, where there’s a methamphetameans there’s a methamphetaway
Antibiotic farts are the death rattles of your gut biome
Brilliant new grift: I’m going to start a conservative Christian band and call it Conejo Malo. My debut song will be a rap remix of We Are Charlie Kirk
My head game immaculate, I got that clitorizz
Roses are red both my balls are blue. Chivalry is dead can I stick it in you?
This administration is about to learn you can’t out Jerome the Powell 😤
I wanna do a sabbatical in #Boston just to learn the accent.
Yall my intestines are getting a real McFuckin after I ate Donald’s for lunch
Just when you think you’ve heard it all someone hits you the pronunciation “fill it minion” and you gotta take a step back.
If Eric Adams were still with us:
“NYC is really the Caracas of the USA”
The Madurorality of the USA is at an all time low
Operation Humid Afghanistan begins 🫡
Thinking of starting a #Halal deli called As-Salami Alaykum
Michigan water is so fucking cold in the winter my bidet is basically a menthol cigarette for the asshole.
